For The Love of An Egoist
by xXAngel ShadowXx
Summary: My first JR fanfic on this site. HirokiXNowaki. Nowaki and Hiroki are finally getting ready to walk down the aisle, but will Hiroki be able to rise above the challenges of his past and show Nowaki just what he truly means to him? lol I suck at summaries.
1. Chapter 1

My first Junjou Romantica fanfiction! Starring the Egoist couple. HirokiXNowaki

Four years have past since Nowaki asked Hiroki to move in with him, and now there are about to make choices that will affect the rest of their lives. Plenty of fluff, sweetness, and marriage. (Naw DAMN I spoiled it!)

Enjoy!

It was late one night that a very weary and exhausted Hiroki stumbled through the door of his home and collapsed with a great sigh on his couch. The day had been a nightmare, and his head was pounding like a bitch from all the stress.

Of course, it didn't help matters at all that Nowaki was working late again at the hospital, leaving Hiroki alone to cook a very brief dinner for himself and go to bed, though he almost never fell asleep until Nowaki came home and slipped in beside him, (something a very proud Hiroki would never admit by the way.) The bed was just...too cold without him.

Letting these thoughts creep into his head, Hiroki stirred, realizing how cheesy it sounded, and resolved to make himself a cup of ramen when his stomach let out a very hollow groan. Sighing he began bioling water for the ramen and, in the midst of this endeavor, he saw the time on the microwace clock and dropped his bowl with a loud clatter.

"Damn! It's 8:00 already! I hadn't realized it was so late!" He cried, checking his own watch, and recalling that the last time he'd checked the time was hours ago, back at work. He'd had to make a few stops along the way. "Nowaki said he would be back by 7:30. Bastard..." He checked his phone. No messages.

"Dammit! He didn't even give me a damn text to let me know he was working later! Who does that bastard think he is? Dosen't he know I worry about him?"

Then, he paused for a minute, ignoring that the water in the pot for the ramen was beginning to boil over.

"He...he does know that doesn't he?" He asked himself slowly. It was far from the first time he'd asked himself that trying question. He recalled all the thoughtless times he had reprimanded, or insulted, or shouted at Nowaki, and he just seemed to smile and shrug it away every time, usually going on to coo and sigh about how cute he was."

"For the love of me, I will never understand that..." Hiroki thought, turning the water off. "The guy is so cheesy, such a diehard romantic...

"And...I really don't deserve him...do I?"

That thought made him start, as he ripped open a packet of freeze dried Ramen and thought back to all the little things Nowaki did for him; the way he called him cute, and kissed him good-bye every morning, or even the way he would smile, and those sweet little dimples would crease the corners of his lips...there was so much about him that Hiroki treasured, apart from fact that the man had been working ever since he'd met him to become someone in his mind was worthy of Hiro-san. Who can honestly say that about their lovers? Most of the time guys acted like horny pervs and just disregarded their lovers whenever they felt like...but Nowaki wasn't like that...he truly cherished Hiroki.

"I need to tell him more...how care for him..."

If I don't, maybe he'll leave.

The thought alone was enough to make Hiroki cringe. He quickly finished preparing his ramen, hurriedly scarfed it down, and began to get ready for bed, brushing his teeth and changing into a comfortable T-shirt and burying himself under the recently-washed sheets. They were cold and crisp against the bare skin of his legs, and Hiroki breifly shivered, his thoughts wandering again to his lover. He sighed.

"I just remembered...the anniversary of the day we met is coming up...I need to do something special. Really special...it's our tenth after all...

And I want him to know...just how much I love him."

Just then, he heard the distant shut of a door. Nowaki was home.

"Hiro-san! I'm back!" He called cheerfully. Hiroki's heart thudded madly as his lover made his way down the dark hallway, up the stairs, and towards their bedroom, was Hiroki was curled up under the covers and pretending to be a sleep. (As well as trying to ignore how deeply flushed his face was becoming."

"Hiro-san? You awake?" Nowaki whispered gently, moving a few strands of Hiroki's hair to get a better view of his tightly clenched eyes.

"Oh Hiro-san...simply adorable..." He cooed, giving the man a kiss on the cheek. Then, he made a move to get up, but Hiroki then shifted.

"Wait, I'm up..." Hiroki murmured softly and drowsily, turning to face him. Nowaki grinned like a fool, and kissed him.

"I missed you today Hiro-san. How was your day?"

"Ugh...kind of shitty." 'But it's perfect, now you're back," He finished inside his mind. Nowaki smiled, stripping down in his clothes to his underwear. Hiroki quickly turned away attempting to conceal his crimson-flushed face. Nowaki settled beside him, still smiling, and taking Hiroki's hand.

"You...you were late today." Hiroki muttered, trying to hide the annoyance in his tone. Nowaki frowned slightly.

"Oh I'm sorry Hiro-san...today was so busy I guess..."

"No, it's fine. You weren't that late and..." He sighed again. He was doing it a lot tonight. "I know you're busy nowadays. You're a full-time physician now. Your patients need you."

"Yeah, but Hiro-san is still the most important one of all." Nowaki replied, lacing his fingers with Hiroki's and kissing his forehead.

"M-moron! Don't say such embarassing things!" He cried, still trying to conceal how desperately blissful he was to hear those words.

" But it's true." Nowaki said softly, tightening his grip and Hiroki's hand under the sheets. "I just want to make sure you know that..."

"Well fine then. I...I do..." Hiroki stuttered, his heart pounding wildly. "It's late now. We should be asleep."

Nowaki nodded. "Right. Good-night Hiro-san." He murmured, closing his eyes.

"Hold on you dummy!" Hiroki exclaimed, rousing Nowaki from his sleep attempt.

"What is it?"

"He needs to know I care for him. He just needs to always know that. My pride is nothing compared to how important that is."

"I...I'm a little cold." Hiroki muttered, barely audiable, and so obviously while his cheeks flared. Nowaki's warm smile grew to its maximum size, and his shifted in bed, allowing Hiroki to snuggle up against him while his long, muscular arms enveloped him. He planted a soft kiss on Hiroki's lips. "Better?" He whispered sweetly.

"Mmmm...yeah..." Hiroki mumbled, his face buried in Nowaki's chest. "Night."

"I love you, Hiro-san."

Me too, with all my heart, Hiroki thought.

"...Love you too..." And the happy couple drifted off together


	2. Chapter 2

For the Love of an egoist-chapter 2

Enjoy!

-

It was very late that same night, while Hiroki was nestled in the warmth of Nowaki's arms, sound asleep, when the nightmare happened. the kind of nightmare that is only conjured from a suppressed, horrible moment in one's past that one is constantly tried to repress and ignore. The kind of nightmare that is horrifying because it shows only the truth.

The memory came in hazy at first, as though floating in a sea of mist, but gradually it cleared to reveal the heart-wrenching sight of Hiroki and his mother waiting up past midnight for the return of his father. Hiroki was only ten at the time, very small and very intelligent, and already with a concious understanding that his father was an alcoholic and probably drunk and returninf from a bar right at that moment.

It was then the door opened and a very intoxicated Riori Kamijou stumbled through the door. Hiroki's mother began to shout and cry at him, while Hiroki was cowering against the wall, tears running down his cheeks in streams. The terror within him rose steadily with the rising of his parent's screams, loud, shrill, and frightening. And then, at one point or another, Riori noticed Hiroki, huddled in a corner, and descended upon him.

Hiroki endured the stifling and painful blows with cries and protests, while his mother screeched and clawed and begged him to stop. Hiroki could also clearly remember his own beggning, and the line that rose from the ashes clearest of all.

"Daddy stop! Why are you doing this? I love you! Stop!"

Eventually, the police ended up being called, and his father restrained and put away for three days. But before that, Hiroki found himself trembling in a corner, blodd streaming from his nose and bruises blooming ripe on his face and arms and stomach. A hollow, tormented mess of pain and confusion and weakness.

"Daddy...I love you...why are you doing this to me?"

It was then Hiroki woke up from the dream, shaking and cold icy tears streaming down his cheeks. He buried his face in his hands and tried depserately to stifle his sobs, which came beyond his own control.

"That...bastard..." He muttered, fury seething in his voice. "How could he do that to me? Why the hell do those memories always have to come back? Why can't I just be in peace?" He whispered to no one.

He glanced over at Nowaki, who was still sound asleep, snoring softly. The question was rising again; that unanswered question that almost everyone who had some sort of interaction with Hiroki Kamijou asked themselves at one point; whats up with that guy? Why's he so reserved, distant, hard to approach or talk to? The answer that had always eluded even Hiroki himself of all people, was finally becoming clear.

"It was that...bastard!" He thought, tears still falling. He buried his face in his pillow. "He's the damn reason I'm like this! He's the damn reason why I'm such an asshole, even to..."

He glanced at Nowaki. "Even to you...someone so dear to my heart..." He thought in tender anguish. "Nowaki...is he the real reason why..." A fresh wave of sobs erupted from him. He clutched the pillow, face burning with shame at the blubbering mess he had become. Suddenly, he felt a soft hand on his shoulder and he spun around, eyes swimming with tears, to meet the deeply concerned ones of Nowaki, who had woken up at the sound of Hiroki's sobs. His eyes widened in surprise and worry at the sight of Hiroki's tears.

"H-hiro-san...what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

"I-its nothing!" Hiroki stammered, quickly turning his face away. "Just go back to sleep." 'I'm doing it again.' He thought helplessly. 'Why can't I just tell him?'

"Hiro-san...please..." Nowaki pleaded, pulling him closer. "I want to know what's wrong. Please tell me."

"It was just...a bad dream..." Hiroki sad vaguely, the warmth of Nowaki's body immediately filling him. He tried to absorb every bit he could get. "I'm okay."

"Hiro-san!"

Nowaki pulled him away to look into his eyes. His face was dead serious now. "Hiro-san...do you even know? Do you even have any clue of what you mean to me? Don't you realize that when I see you in any kind of pain, my own heart aches too? Why can't you tell me? We've been together for almost ten years now!" He paused, brushing away a few of Hiroki's tears with his thumb. "I might have fallen in love with you at the sight of you crying, but now..." his voice cracked. "It just breaks my heart. I want to be here for you..." He embraced him again. "I just wish you would let me in."

"Nowaki...I'm sorry..." Was all Hiroki could say, wrapping his arms around his lover's waist. "Its fine. I think I'm okay now. Lets just go back to sleep."

Nowaki reluctantly nodded, but not for one moment did he lessen his hold on Hiroki. He drifted off once more, leaving Hiroki distressed and miserable.

'I'm such a damn fool. Now he's hurting and it's all because of me.' Hiroki was disgusted with himself. How could he ever let his father be an excuse for being distant and reserved towards Nowaki. His past didn't matter anymore. He could never allow the emotional restraints his father has bound him to apply to Nowaki. Nowaki was like no one else. He was the ost important person in this world to him.

Hiroki leaned forward and kissed Nowaki' shoulderblade. "I'm so sorry. You deserve so much more than me. But I swear, I won't be this way forever...

"Our anniversary will prove that."


	3. Chapter 3

The third part. Yay! Enjoy!

-

The day of their anniversary had come, but so far, Hiroki had spent it alone. Nowaki had to stay at the hospital overnight the previous day, and they had shared scarcely more than a few brief text messages since he'd left. Hiroki also had the day off that day, and was haplessly roaming around downtown Tokyo, trying to think of something he could do for Nowaki. (He still hadn't come up with anything, to his dismay.) It had to be perfect; the perfect gift or gesture to make their tenth anniversary special. He had to think of something.

"Flowers and chocolate?" He mused, stopping in his tracks to consider it. Then, he felt a bead of embarassed sweat dribble down his forehead. "How corny and sappy..." He thought. "Nowaki would go apeshit for it though." He shook his head. "But it's just not enough. Maybe on Valentines day...MAYBE!" He told himself, just the thought of handing over a bouquet of roses and a huge heart-shaped box of truffles like some love-sick schoolgirl enough to make his stomach turn.

Wearied and desperate, he turned around and spotted the entrance to a small, modest park. Hiroki stopped dead in his tracks, suddenly remembering that this was the exact place he'd first met Nowaki.

"Oh God...I haven't been here in so long..." He muttered to himself in amazement and a deep, intimate contemplation of that day ten years ago; he'd been sitting on a bench, crying over his fruitless relationship with Akihiko, when that damn rocket had dropped headfirst at his feet, scaring the shit out of him. And then Nowaki had came...and saw him.

That day had marked the beginning, and now here he was, ten years later, standing in the same spot. He ran his hand over the smooth wood, and thought about irrational it was, how Nowaki had simply dragged him away from that misey he'd thought he'd never escape from...and given him a new reason to live.

"I have to do something special. Something completely out of the norm for me...but what?" He racked his brain, but finally sighed with defeat, and wandered back the way he'd come. He just wasn't any good this crap. He was walking back up Tokyo Downtown's main street and was completely puzzled when he found himself crashing into a young woman, causing her to drop her several shopping bags.

"Oh! Sorry." Hiroki mumbled, along with a few self-curses only he could hear himself saying. He hastilly picked up the bags, but nearly dropped them again when he realized who this woman was.

"No...way..." He murmured, completely taken aback by the fact he recognized this person. Nowaki had shown him several photographs of her some time ago. "Are you...the previous owner of Kusama Orphanage?" He asked, in awe of the incredible coincidence. This was Sayaki Hikokara. the woman who had practically raised Nowaki as a child.

The woman blinked once, then responded with an uneasy smile. "Why yes. As a matter of fact. I didn't think anyone around here would remember that...did you grow up there by any chance? I'm afraid I'm so old now I can't remember much about the place."

"Oh...no...I didn't grow up there...someone I know though..." He was a little unsure whether she would remember or not, but he said it anyway. "Kusama Nowaki."

Sayaki's eyes instantly sparked with a delighted recognition. "Oh! Nowaki? I remember him! Ph, he was always the tallest of the group I looked after...and so kind and generous. He would always share bits of his dinner with the skinny newcomers. He would even comfort the ones who had been abused or neglected. Yes...he was a special one...with probably the biggest heart I've ever seen in anyone."

"I'll second to that..." Hiroki mumbled, but then cleared his throat as the woman inquired how he knew him.

Hiroki swallowed; he'd seen this question coming. But he really could'nt see any way of avoiding it. "He's my...lover..." He admitted quietly, blushing like his had a fire lit beneath the surface of his cheeks.

Sayaki looked genuinely surprised for a moment, but her features revealed no sign of malice or disapproval. In fact, she seemed very pleased. "Oh, really? How sweet! How long have you known each other?"

"T-ten years..." He mumbled. His could actually feel sweat beading his face now with how hot it was becoming. This would no doubt be the point when Nowaki would grin like a doofus and remark how cute it was, if he was there.

"Wow...thats longer than most married couples stay together nowadays! Well, good for you! What brings you here though, by any chance. The shopping really isn't so good, to be honest."

"Well, yeah, but I'm kind of stressing right now." He admitted, not exactly sure why. "You see, its the...erm..."Anniversary" of our first meeting, and I just can't think of the perfect thing to do for him. It's driving me insane!" He raged. "You would'nt have any suggestions would you?"

She considered for a moment, stroking her chin, but then her lips curved into a wide smirk. "As a matter of fact, I do have an idea." She began. "You see, Nowaki is a big fan of cake."

"Oh...CAKE! Why didn't I think of that! Stupid!" Hiroki scolded himself. "You're right. He loves cake. But...I'm not sure making a cake is all that special." 'Oh who am I kidding? The man would be in a total state of bliss if he saw me in the kitchen, wearing a frilly apron, baking him a cake. He'd probably shit himself with happiness, the corny fool...' Hiroki thought, suppressing a smile. "But...what kinf of cake should it be?" He asked in earnest.

The woman blinked again. "You don't know his favorite? Thats odd, if you've been together for that long..."

Hiroki felt a twinge in his heart at the completely honest statement. She was absolutely right. It was his fault too. "Well...anyway, do you know, off-hand? Any special kind he really likes?"

Again, a smirk came to her lips, and she pulled out a slip of paper from her jacket and handed it to him. Hiroki, puzzled, scanned the words at the top..."Vanilla Fudge Berry..." It was a cake recipe!

Hiroki blinked in confusion, and the woman laughed. "I had originally come to this part of the Downtown District to make an order for a special cake to give to the orphanage. Nowaki and all the orphans used to adore this cake. Its vanilla sponge cake with fudge icing and strawberries inside. It was his absolute favorite, and I expect he hasn't had it since his last time here. I think it would make him really happy if you baked it for him. I can always write down the ingredients for the bakery again once I get there. You take it." She finished with a wide smile.

Hiroki didn't know what to say. This was a miracle! Perfect! He felt like singing with joy, but instead of a musical number he simply bowed and murmured a very humble "Thank you very much."

Sayaki bowed and patted him on the shoulder. "You tell him I send my regards, okay young man?" Hiroki nodded and began to walk away, but not before Sayaki could ask him one last thing, in a lowered voice.

"He's doing well, isn't he? Are you taking good care of him?"

Hiroki stopped walking and turned around, his heart thudding dully in his chest, as he considered the answer to that question himself. It almost physically hurt him when he actually had to ask himself...'Am I?' Would'nt a real lover simply reply "Yes." to that question, without even a moment's hesistancy? His thoughts wandered to the desperate, hurt-filled eyes Nowaki had that night of Hiroki's nightmare...and his words; "Don't you understand how much you mean to me?"

The real question though, Hiroki knew, was if HE knew how much he meant to Hiroki. And Hiroki could'nt bear it.

But instead of breaking down, he swallowed his guilt and murmured. "Of course I am." But when he waved good-bye, he felt certain he'd just told a lie.

Clutching the paper in his hand, he resolved he would hold back nothing that night. He was through.

He would expose his very soul, if that was what Nowaki wished of him. Strip away the "Impenetrable armor." and give up his very essence. All this, he would do for Nowaki.

Only Nowaki.

Hiroki returned home, his heart aching, and his mind set.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Note: this chappie may be a little dramatic. I tried to make Hiroki as In character as possible tho. again, please review!

-

"Hiiro-san! I'm hooome!" Nowaki called cheerfully, shutting the door behind him and taking off his coat. He began stiding down the hallway towards the kitchen, a foolish smile spreading across his face at the idea of seeing his precious Hiro-san on their anniversary.

Nowaki was waiting for Hiroki's response and pondering why he hadn't heard it when he stopped dead in front of the kitchen door, eyes bulging and his overnight bag dropping from his hand.

"H-hiro-san...what?"

Hiroki was standing, quiet fluster, face covered with white powder and just a smidge of frosting. A delicious looking cake was sitting, freshly baked on the table, and scrawled on top with vanilla icing were the words "Happy Anniversary." On top of that, Hiroki was still wearing his baking apron. He looked exhausted...and adorable.

"Hir-Hiro-san."

Hiroki swallowed, flushing fiercely, and started towards him, hands shaking slightly.

"Yeah, yeah. I know I look a wreck, but happy anniversary anyway." He said quietly, trying not to sound so cold.

"No you look...absolutely ADORABLE!" Nowaki suddenly cried, glomping him in a huge hug. "Oh that apron Hiro-san! It's so precious!"

Hiroki flushed even harder and tried to escape his grasp. "Sh-shut up! I'm a grouchy 32 year old man! How many times do I have to reiterate that? I'm not cute!" He insisted,'Typical Nowaki. He didn't even notice the cake for the sight of me in a girly cooking apron.' He thought, but he could just barely hide his smile.

Nowaki noticed this and could'nt suppress the instant growth of his own smile. He kissed his lover deeply on the lips for a moment, and looked into his eyes. "No...you are the cutest, sweetest thing on the face of this earth." He paused. "I'm so lucky to have you. Happy anniversary."

Hiroki swallowed again, wanting to embrace him...feeling that need growing within him, but for some damn reason, he just could'nt make his body obey him. "Yeah..." He murmured, then his eyes flicked back to the cake, which Nowaki was now gaping at with wide, grateful, and hungry eyes.

"Oh...that cake looks delicious Hiro-san!" He gushed, walking towards it and admiring it for a moment, but then, the scent of it hit him...the mingled sweetness of ripe strawberries and extra thick fudge frosting...all steaming and warm...the same cake he had loved even as a young child.

Hiroki walked behind him, and was instantly startled when Nowaki's eyes welled up with tears. "Oh Hiro-san...how...how did you know about thsi cake. I never...I never told you about this..."

Hiroki racked his brain, trying to find a way to explain it. "Well...I was in town today and I ran into this woman who knew you back at the orphanage. I recognized her from the photos and she gave me the recipe, saying you loved it as a kid...and..."

"Don't tell me you ran into Saya-chan." Nowaki whispered, looking back at him. "How? Where?"

"D-downtown. Listen, I know its a shock but I'm really nervous right now. I'm not even sure I prepared it right, I mean, since when am I a chef right?" He laughed, trying to sound easy, and to make his face stop burning so intensely. "Go ahead and eat it already!" Hiroki sat down in a chair, trying to act as if he hadn't noticed the tears streaming down Nowaki's face at that moment. He picked up a plate and a knife and began to cut into the cake, his hands still shaking. He had almost cut the first slice and was putting it the plate for Nowaki when Nowaki suddenly stood up and advancing towards him, capturing him in that oh-so familiar embrace.

"Hiro-san..." He whispered softly in his ear, hugging him tightly. "You have no idea how much this means to me. I haven't eaten this in so long...and you made it for me...with your own hands. You could have just given the recipe to a bakery, but you didn't...you wanted to make it especially for me...that makes me so happy."

Hiroki was about to drop the plate and right then and there and just break down in Nowaki's arms, but he knew he couldn't do that. He just would'nt...

"Nowaki..." But he so desperately wanted to...needed to...

He could'nt let his father could'nt hold him back anymore.

But still...

"Li-listen! It might not even be any good...just try it already...please!" Hiroki pleaded, trembling now, and feeling tears of self-loathing and urgent love rising to the surface.

"Hiro-san...are you...are you crying?"

He could'nt hide anything from Nowaki. It was a futile, wasteful effort. Soon, tears were pouring down his cheeks. Tears of sorrow, tears of joy. He wanted Nowaki to be happy, he wanted to please him and show him how important he was to him, but the same thought kept piercing through his heart over and over again.

"I just don't deserve him. He's so perfect...so kind, thoughtfull...loving. He touches my soul in more ways than I can number, and is always, always telling me he loves me..."

'Daddy! Why are you doing this? I love you!"

"Hiro-san."

"I'm..fine...I promise. Just eat your cake...I want to see you try it."

Suddenly, Hiroki found himself being swept away from the chair, spun around, and Nowaki pressing his lips to his. Tears still rolling down his face, he suddenly found his very foundation shattering. He clutched at Nowaki, as though gor life itself. Nowaki pushed him up against a wall, hands touching and caressing every inch of Hiroki's skin. Hiroki pulled him closer, moaning and still letting the tears flow down his swollen cheeks. He could'nt stop them. Just could'nt, niether could he repress this insatiable need for Nowaki, that was only growing stronger, ready to destroy him.

The two of them sank to the floor, Hiroki now full out bawling in Nowaki's arms, burying his face in the cloth of his shirt and letting the tears soak into the dark blue material. Nowaki stroked his hair, running his hand delicately through the long silken tresses and holding Hiroki close to him, trying so hard to soothe him, to figure out what made his dearest Hiro-san hurt so much.

Hiroki continued to sob, hating himself for being so childish. Hating himself for not sucking up his emotion into the seemingly neverending well inside of him.

"Hiro-san..."

Suddenly, it was too much. That damn beautiful, gentle voice, reaching out to his very soul...it was too much...he was too much.

"I...I love you..." He whispered, his voice cracking as he clutched his lover. "I do...I really truly do."

"Hiro-san." Nowaki murmured, holding him closer. "It's all right. I'm here."

"NO ITS NOT! ALL I DO IS HURT YOU DAMMITT! I'M A BROKEN MESS OF A HUMAN BEING AND...AND YOU SHOULD HAVE LEFT ME YEARS AGO!"

"Hiro-"

"You want to know what that damn nightmare I had was the other night? Well, I'll tell you. It was of my goddamn father, beating me! He's the damn reason why I don't deserve you! He's the damn reason I am the way I am! And I can't stand it anymore!" Hiroki cried, wrapping his arms around Nowaki's neck. "I just...don't deserve you...but you think the way I treat you is cute! It isn't cute! I'm an asshole..just a total complete asshole...

"And you still love me..."

He was silent for a moment, still shuddering with sobs, but no more tears. Nowaki was quiet, shocked by the confessions Hiroki had made. The things he had just said. Suddenly, he was standing up, and leading Hiroki to the couch in the living room, never once letting go of him. He settled down, and took Hiroki into his arms again. Hiroki sighed internally. He was falling apart. On their anniversary of all nights. But somehow, he could'nt help but feel Nowaki's warmth alone could put the broken pieces of him back together again.

Nowaki had never seen his Hiro-san hurting like this. It was more than he could bear, seeing Hiroki reduced to this sobbing mess of a person. It was tearing his heart to shreds. "Hiro-san..." He whispered, kissing his forehead. "I'm so sorry...I never knew...I..."

"Because I never had the strength to tell you. Because I don't deserve you." Hiroki replied bitterly. "And now I've ruined our anniversary night."

"Hiro-san. You're more important to me than that. J-just let me..." But the truth was Nowaki was completely overwhelmed. He had never had proper parents himself, so he could'nt even begin to imagine the kind of pain Hiroki was dealing with. It was just breaking his heart. He held him tighter, and Hiroki did the was the only thign either of them could think to do.

Nowaki took a deep breath, and wiped some of Hiroki's tears away. "You know how much I care for you, and love you, and want to be a man whom you could honestly love back. You know that, don't you?" Nowaki asked softly.

Hiroki bit his lip and nodded. "But I don't know why! I'm not supportive or inspiring or even loving towards you! I can't rise above my past even for your sake, and I can't think of a damn thing in this world that means more to me than you!" Hiroki cried. "I...I'm pathetic. I really am."

"No, you're not. You're strong and beautiful and kind-hearted. Even if you can't see it yourself, I can. I see it everytime I look into your eyes. You fill me with so much strength and inspiration I jsut don't know what to do with myself." he took Hiroki's hand. "And I want to be here for you. Especially when you're hurting. It's the one thing I live for besides my job at the hospital..." He paused, and kissed Hiroki once more. "And just hearing you say that you love me is more than enough Hiro-san. I don't need any more than that. So don't say you don't deserve me, because you can't even see yourself the way I see you, and I could'nt imagine a day without you beside me. I would just fall to pieces."

Hiroki felt ready to burst into shameless tears all over again, when suddenly Nowaki rose from the plush leather couch and walked towards his black overnight bag. He rummaged through it for a few seconds, then he turned back to his teary-eyed lover, holding a small black velvet box in his hand.

Hiroki sucked in a sharp intake of breath as he bit his lip against the wail that threatened to explode from him. Nowaki's eyes, soft, overflowing blue pools of love, sympathy, and promise. The promise of himself, for Hiroki, forever and ever until their hearts stopped beating and the world was still.

He kneeled before Hiroki, and began to speak, slowly and deliberately, as though reciting words he had rehearsed countless times.

"Hiro-san...I've been planning this for awhile now, thinking about you and me...all the little things you do to show me you care. You might not think I notice, but I do. I really do...and...I can honestly say after ten years of being with you, I would'nt have it any other way. You are the thing I treasure most in this world, and no matter what happened in your past, or what awaits us in the future...You can be sure of this; that I will always be here beside you. To hold you, kiss you, and love you with every fiber of my being. Hiro-san...I'm going to ask you a question I've been wanting to ask you for so long...here it is..."

He then opened the box, revealing a glimmering silver ring, with Hiroki's name engraved on it.

"Hiro-san...I want to ask you, if you'll come with me to America...so we can get married." He placed a hand on Hiroki's face, and stroked the remaining tears away from Hiroki's stunned, yet motionless face.

There was an infinite silence that passed between them, before Hiroki finally acted. Slowly, his hand shaking so much he could hardly control it, he rested it on Nowaki's, and leaned his tear soaked cheek into Nowaki's palm. Another shuddering mixture of a sob and a sigh escaped his lips as he whispered his answer, the only answer his heart could allow. His father didn't matter. No one else in this world mattered, He was done with them all, and he knew, more than anything else, that he wanted to be bound to this person for the rest of his life...no..forever.

"Yes...I will" He said, his voice quivering as he leaned forward into Nowaki's welcoming arms. The raven-haired man cradled his lover like the vulnerable, fragile creature he was. Planting kisses all over his face and neck, Nowaki held Hiroki all through that night, whispering words of undying love and devotion, and Hiroki believed every word.

Every single word.

And before they drifted off together, snug and cuddled up against one another under the sheets, Hiroki's new ring sparkling on his hand, he heard Nowaki utter those three words with more conviction than he'd ever heard before.

"I love you, Hiro-san."

And this time, Hiroki didn't hesitate. He was done with that forever, ready to begin the next chapter of his life, with Nowaki.

"I love you too Nowaki."

And he slept, not a single nightmare haunting his dreams. He was safe now; with the one he truly loved.

And he was ready for whatever the future would bring. 


	5. Chapter 5

Part 5. Enjoy!

-

The next few weeks of Hiroki Kamijou's life were consummed with plans for his wedding and traveling arrangements. It was decided that the two of them would go to Maine for their wedding ceremony. However, it was left mainly up to Nowaki to make the arrangements for that, considering Hiroki didn't know scarcely a word of English. He'd studied it very briefly when he was younger, but he'd not had any use for what little he'd retained of the language that eventually he had all but totally forgotten it. As for the guests...well...Hiroki didn't know all that many people he could invite, being the social introvert he normally was.

So, he really had no choice but to ask Miyagi, who unfortuantely happened to be sipping a mug of hot coffee at the time and almost spilled it on himself as he reacted to Hiroki's rather shocking reveal

"EH? You mean you're actually MARRYING the guy? When did all this happen?" He'd exclaimed, eyes the size of dinner plates.

"Would you keep it down?" Hiroki admonished him angrilly, his eyes wandering to the door to check if anyone was eavesdropping. Once he was reassured, he sighed deeply.

"Listen, are you coming or not? I want to have at least one of the witnesses be someone I invite and-"

Then, as if on cue, his statement was cut off by typical Miyagi embrace, much to Hiroki's annoyance. "Ohhhhh KAMIJOU! I knew I was important to you! I would be HONORED to come!" He cooed loudly, nudging the back of Hiroki's head with his.

"Get OFF of me already!" Hiroki shouted, not caring who was listening. He struggled to break out of Miyagi's grip and glared at him. "I don't even know why I asked."

Miyagi scoffed and waved him off. "Jeez...this guy must be some sort of saint to want to marry your crabby ass." Miyagi sat at his desk and began typing. "Y'know, were you even listening when I told you about those brow wrinkles of yours?"

Hiroki pretended as though he hadn't heard this comment. "So are you coming or what?" He mumbled irritatedly. Miyagi sighed. "Sure sure. Shinobu has always wanted to visit America anyway..."

Hiroki perked up. "You still with that kid? Have you told his father about it yet."

"Oh yeah, a long time ago. Let me tell you the family sure was shocked...but that didn't matter. They mostly didn't care as long as Shinobu was happy."

Hiroki noticed the wistful look in Miyagi's yees as he said this. "So you really love him I guess huh? You two have been together for a few years now."

"Yeah...of course, the kid really wasn't gonna let up until I DID fall for him. Little terrorist..." He sipped his coffee again, and Hiroki saw the smile that spread across his lips.

Miyagi had agreed to come. But then there was the task of telliing his family. Hiroki dialed his home number, praying to God his mother would be the one who picked up.

Luckily, his prayers were answered. "Oh, Hiroki! It's been so long! How are you?" His mother asked cheerfully.

"I'm fine mom. Listen...I have something I need to tell you. You know that guy I've been seeing for the past ten years?"

"Yes! Nowaki? Oh, he's such a nice young man. We need to get together more often!"

"Er...yeah. Listen...I know this might come as a shock but...we've decided we want to get...married."

A sharp intake of breath sounded on the other end of the line. "Oh HIROKI! THATS SO SWEET!" His mother exclaimed, and Hiroki could'nt help but look around to see of anyone had overheard. (He really should'nt have made this call at the school, he thought to himself.) "Wait, did he propose to you? With a real ring? Oh my GOD! My little Hiroki is about to get hitched!"

Of course, Hiroki had expected this kind of reaction from his mother. Much like with Akihiko, she would often seem more drawn to Nowaki than to her own son. What Hiroki was really nervous about was telling...his father. And it didn't take long for his mother to pick up on this.

"Hiroki...you haven't spoken to your father about this yet, have you? Are you planning on inviting him?"

Hiroki's heart flipped. He had been considering that himself for the longest time. He knew perfectly well that Nowaki had no real family of his own, and because of that, he wanted his own family to accept Nowaki in as if he were truly their own. And he knew perfectly well that his father would not fit into that plan. He had a temper even more easy to set off than Hiroki's, and a horrible dispostition. Hiroki hadn't spoken to him in years...and he wanted to keep it that way. The last thing he wanted was for Nowaki to meet him and see for himself what a pitiful pathetic waste of life he truly was.

"I don't want to..." Hiroki muttered. "He'll ruin everything. He dosen't even know I've been seeing Nowaki."

"How do you know I didn't tell him?" His mother demanded. Hiroki didn't respond, knowing his mother didn't have the balls to do that. She knew him too well.

"Well, okay. I haven't told him either...but...he is still your father Hiroki."

"He was a damn sperm donor." Hiroki hissed, trying to hold back the tears. "He was never a damn father to me, and you know it." His mother didn't reply. Hiroki sighed.

"Won't you at least tell him. How about this; don't do it now...but wait until you're in America. That way, if you still aren't sure about coming, he probably won't be able to anyway."

Hiroki considered this, and nodded to himself. "Yeah...that sounds good. I think I'll do that."

"Good. To be honest, I don't like the idea of him coming either. He's not the most...open-minded person in the world..."

"Not to mention he's a brain-dead drunk." Hiroki growled. His mother sighed on the other end. "Don't worry. I'll make all the nessesary preparations to come, without saying anything to dear old dad." Hiroki sighed, and told her Nowaki would be the one giving her the information once it was all settled, since he was the one in charge of the whole thing. " All right then. Take care Hiroki. I know you'll be very happy together. I can tell how much you love him." Then she hung up.

The two made plans to leave a week before their wedding day. Nowaki had informed all of Hiroki's relatives of the location, date, and time, and they had all agreed to come, quite eagerly. Hiroki was happy about that. He truly felt his family would welcome Nowaki in with open arms, and he felt completely at ease as they were finishing packing the night before their flight, despite the fact Hiroki had still resolved that he would call him father to inform him of the news once the'd arrived in America. Hiroki was just folding the last of the shirts he was going to take when he picked up his tuxedo. It was pure white with a white undershirt, silver buttons, and a crimson tie. He ran his fingers over the silky material and hugged the tux to his chest. He usually didn't do such corny things, but Nowaki wasn't in the room to embarrass him for it. He hadn't even picked out the tux...Nowaki had. "Heh...I have a pretty good idea why he picked the color white for me. Probably pictures me as his cheesy little bride. The perv..." He thought happily, clutching the tuxedo to his chest. "In just week..just a matter of days, we'll really be married...I still can't believe it."

Just then, a familar pair of arms embraced him from behind, making him simultaneously jump and blush at the same time.

"N-Nowaki! You bastard! You scared the crap out of me!" Hiroki exclaimed, but Nowaki only grinned like a fool.

"Oh Hiro-san...my blushing bride." He teased, nibbling Hiroki's ear.

"St-stupid..." Hiroki mumbled softly, interlacing his fingers with Nowaki's. "I'm not your damn bride."

Nowaki smiled and glanced down at the white tuxedo, now resting on the bed. "You'll look so cute in it. I can hardly wait to take you in my arms on our wedding day...and make love to you for the first time as your husband."

"Nowaki...you idiot..." Hiroki murmured, leaning into his fiancee and sighing. "I'm a little nervous about this."

"Why Hiro-san?" Nowaki asked in earnest, sitting on the edge of the bed, Hiroki still in his arms.

"I...I've never actually been on a plane before." He admitted sheepishly. "I don't know what to expect."

"Oh, thats alright Hiro-san. I'll be right next to you. You don't have to be nervous." He held Hiroki tighter, talling in a soothing, gentle voice. Hiroki mustered up the strength, and finally turned to look him in the eyes.

"I know...that. Its just..." Hiroki broke off, trying to make himself confess the words. "I haven't told my father about this yet..."

"Oh Hiro-san...you know I don't expect you to do that."

"No, I've already promised myself I would. I don;t know if'll he'll come or not, but I am going to tell him...eventually."

Nowaki smiled and kissed his forehead. "I don't need anyone else but you to consent to this Hiro-san. Just know that. It dosen't matter to me what anyone thinks of us."

"I-I know that! Its just..." But he really could'nt explain it himself. "Never mind." He sank forward against Nowaki, sighing. "Nowaki...but I'm a little cold..."

"Yes, Hiro-san." Nowaki whispered, wrapping his adorable fiancee in his arms and snugglign under the covers with him. Hiroki cuddled as close as he could get to Nowaki, his arms wound around his waist. Nowaki kissed him softly.

"I love you Hiro-san."

"L-love you too." Hiroki replied, his head nestled into the crook of Nowaki's neck. Nowaki smiled, his heart swelling with love for this person.

The night faded away just like that, Hiroki dreaming of their wedding day, when he would be finally bound to Nowaki forever.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter six! Yay! (Things really start to pick up in this chapter. I know it's been a little slow paced so far...sorry bout that. ^^; )

oh, and a side note...I've never actually stayed in Portland Harbor Hotel. I just needed a relatively nice hotel to use in the story, so if I get certain details wrong, please forgive me, if you happen to know what the real hotel looks like. I'm just using the name and I give my own little reimagining of it.

...

The two of them woke up around 6:00 the next morning. The flight they were taking to Maine for the ceremony had been scheduled to take off at about 7:30, which gave them just enough time to eat breakfast and drive to the airport. Hiroki would never admit it, but he was freaking out inside. Nowaki had informed everyone in Hiroki's family, and they were all going to have a brief get-together a few days before the wedding. Hiroki planned on calling his father and telling him that same day, but the prospect of that terrifyed him. He knew there was no way his father could or would actually come anyway. It would be too late, but he was still lamenting that day with a passion. He could'nt help it.

Hiroki poured himself a bowl of cereal and milk and sat across from Nowaki at the kitchen table. It didn't take long before he noticed how foolishless giddy Nowaki looked, gazing at him longingly, his hand on his chin.

'Oy. The pervert's probably already thinking up a million kinky things for us to do on our honeymoon. He's totally hopeless." But at the same time, it was all Hiroki could do to suppress a smile.

"Hey, you want to stop staring at me and eat something?" He said bluntly, but Nowaki only laughed.

"Sorry Hiro-san...it's just...I'm so excited! We're going to be married in a week!"

"Yeah, yeah I think I know that. Just eat. You know how crappy airline food is."

"Oh, but Hiro-san, you said before you've never been on a plane. How would you know about the food?" Nowaki asked curiously.

"I...I've heard things, thats all. Anyway, I don't want you to be hungry on that long flight with no decent food to ea-" He cut himself off, realizing how corny and concerned he sounded. It only served to make Nowaki grin more.

"Oh, Hiro-san's worried about me! That makes me so happy!" He gushed.

"M-moron." Hiroki mumbled.

He finished his breakfast and the two of them gathered their luggage and left for the airport. Hiroki was fidgeting the entire car ride, which worried Nowaki a bit. They finally arrived. Nowaki of course, already had his own passport, but Hiroki had to go through a lot to accquire his own. They both managed to go through the terminal and got on board the plane after going through a brief bag check and showing the terminal man their tickets.

Nowaki had managed to book them for a first class flight. Hiroki had complained about the extra cost, but Nowaki had only snickered and kissed his cheek, saying nothing was good enough for his precious Hiro-san.

Hiroki noticed about half-way to their seats that Nowaki had taken hold of his hand at some point and now cluthced it tightly.

Hiroki nervously cleared his throat as they sat down in the cushy seats, feeling suddenly paraniod that all of the other passengers were looking their way.

"Um Nowaki...I think people are looking at us..." He muttered. "You mind letting go of my hand?"

"Oh, Hiro-san. It dosen't bother me if they know about us. I love you."

"Erm...er yeah I know that. It's just..."

Nowaki clutched his hand tighter. "No ones looking Hiro-san. Besides, we'll never see them again anyway."

"O-okay." Hiroki was a bit worried he'd hurt Nowaki's feelings though. His skin flushing pink and hot, he quickly laced his fingers through Nowaki's, his face turned away with embarassment. Nowaki smiled, and massaged Hiroki's skin with his thumb, very soothingly. Hiroki sighed, enjoying Nowaki's touch. He settled back in his seat as the plane took off. It went rather smoothly. His ears popped a few times, but that was nothing too bothersome. Hiroki could'nt help but notice a few people glaring disapprovingly at the two of them throughout the flight. Hiroki's previous feeling of self-conciousness was eventually replaced with a deep desire to hurl a heavy book at them. Who were they to judge him anyway? 'Bastards...I doubt any of them love their spouses the way Nowaki and I love each other.' Hiroki fumed inside his head. Nowaki seemed oblivious to all of it.

The flight was a good 17 hours or so, and Hiroki found ways to pass the time, reading or chatting with Nowaki about their plans. Hiroki was a bit irritated with him though, as he refused any major details about where they were holding their wedding. He claimed it was because he wanted it to be a "surprise." Hiroki's eye twitched hearing the word. Nowaki merely smiled and told him to trust him about the matter. Hiroki was annoyed nonetheless.

About ten hours later it was around 5:00 or so. He and Nowaki ordered dinner and ate quietly for a bit. The food actually wasn't half bad, but Nowaki noticed that Hiroki seemed a little distracted, and it lasted all throughout their meal. By the time they finished it was six, and the windows were dark. Hiroki could no longer make out anything but the moon, a bright silver crescent, and a few stars dotted about. He supposed by then they might have been somewhere over England, getting closer and closer to America with each passing moment. It was so overwhelming really, and at one point during dinner Hiroki had found himself wondering about his father again, and it began to dawn on him completely that it had been at least twenty years or so they hadn't spoken.

Around 7:30 or so, Nowaki and Hiroki put on headphones to watch an inflight movie. So far it was the only one that had seemed remotely interesting, but most of the passengers were either dozing or getting ready to go to sleep, putting away their books and CD players and settling down in their seats in vain attempts to get comfortable. Some of them unfolded blankets and brought out pillows. As the movie droned on past the opening credits, Hiroki found himself cursing himself for not bringing a pillow himself.

Nowaki could'nt stop himself from glancing over at Hiroki every now and then, He still looked deep in thought, about his father no doubt. Nowaki's brows furrowed in concern, but Hiroki didn't notice. His face looked tense and worried, and this deeply alarmed Nowaki. The last thing he wanted was for Hiroki to feel stressed. He recalled the way Hiroki had fallen apart, sobbing into his chest that night, telling him he loved him and about how his father had treated him...he had to comfort his Hiro-san...he had to make sure he knew how much he was loved...every single day.

Nowaki lifted the armrest that separated their seats, and inched closer to Hiroki. Hiroki looked over at him suddenly, eyes wide.

"Wh-what is it? Don't you like the movie?"

Nowaki took off his headphones and gazed at him, his sapphires eyes glazed over with concern and love. "Hiro-san...are you okay? You seem a little..."

"I'm fine." Hiroki replied, but he could'nt fool Nowaki.

"Hiro-san. You can tell me the truth."

Hiroki looked at him helplessly. "Ugh, what are you on about? I said I'm fine!" But he could'nt keep the facade up for much longer. Suddenly, he found himself removing his headphones too and sighing. "Nowaki...I..."

Nowaki frowned, taking his hand again. "I know you better than you think I do Hiro-san, and I know when you're worried. Please..." He put a hand on Hiroki's cheek, swiping away a few locks of his hazelnut-colored hair from his eyes. "We're going to be married soon. You can tell me anything."

"You already know what it is. And I'm not going to burden you with my own stupid concerns." He muttered, though he gripped Nowaki's hand tightly back.

"You're worries aren't stupid, and..." Nowaki drifted off, lifting his eyes to meet Hiroki's. "I love you so much Hiro-san. Just know that...and don't ever forget it. I love you, and I will always protect you. You mean everything to me, and I..."

"N-Nowaki..." Hiroki uttered softly, his voice shaking. Just then, Nowaki sighed and pulled out a blanket from his carry-on bag. He carefully unfolded it and spread it over the two of them. "You're tired by now, aren't you Hiro-san?" He asked gently. "Lets go to sleep now."

"Y-yeah." Hiroki murmured back, settling closer to Nowaki. Everyone around them was pretty much asleep anyway. He rested his head on Nowaki's shoulder, much to Nowaki's shock, not expecting the ver

"H-Hiro-san? I thought you were worried about everyone knowing."

Hiroki shrugged, snuggling closer. "Fuck em. I'm tired...and I just want to be close to you right now..." He finished in a tiny whisper. Nowaki's warm smile returned as he settled closer to his darling fiancee.

"Are you warm enough?" Nowaki asked in a soothing voice, while snaking an arm around Hiroki's shoulders. Hiroki sighed happily. "Yeah." He replied softly, pressing closer. He felt his eyelids drooping. "Thanks Nowaki."

Nowaki looked down at him, and smiled, kissing his forehead. "Just rest. I promise everything is going to be fine."

"I know that." Hiroki sighed. "Night."

"Good Night Hiro-san." Nowaki murmured. And then the two of them drifted off to sleep.

When the plane finally landed in Portland Maine, Nowaki and Hiroki rented a car for the week, and headed for a luxury hotel that Nowaki had booked for their stay weeks in advance; Portland Harbor Hotel. It was supposed to be one of Maine's finest, and Hiroki had urged Nowaki that he should'nt have done anything too fancy, for fear of their financial limits. (What Hiroki had failed to realize though was that Nowaki had been setting aside money for this exact situation for years since they'd met.)

The concierge eyed them suspiciously when he gave them the keys, wondering why the hell two men had booked a room with a King Sized double bed, but he said nothing on the matter. Nowaki gave him a happy smile and lead his beloved Hiroki to their suite.

It was a gorgeous place, set close to the coastline. Hiroki had never seen such a beautiful building. The inside of the lobby alone was completely overwhelming. The place had high ceilings and famous old paintings decorating the walls, and a huge crystal chandelier dangling overhead, filling the room with a dazzling, heavenly glow.

The concierge eyed them suspiciously when he gave them the keys, wondering why the hell two men had booked a room with a King Sized double bed, but he said nothing on the matter. Nowaki gave him a happy smile and lead his beloved Hiroki to their suite.

Hiroki's eyes could just barely take in the sight. It was a two room suite, with white washed walls, beige carpeting, a small living room-type area with cushy red-leather couchs and armchairs set around a beautiful 32-inch widescreen television. Even the bathroom was impressive, so clean and shiny it hurt your eyes at first. The bathtub was enormous. (Nowaki had taken special care to make sure of that, deeply hoping that Hiroki might agree to take a warm bubble bath with him.) Hiroki breathed in deep, and the room he noticed had a peculiar, though amazing aroma. Almost like...ginger and cinnamon. Then, he saw the source, and his eyes widened with surprise.

"S-scented candles?" They were lit too, and placed on the rim of the tub very carefully. There must have been at least half a dozen. 'Why do I get the feeling he requested this?" He looked back at Nowaki, who was unpacking his clothes, while casting a few glances now and then to where Hiroki was in the bathroom, although Hiroki didn't notice that. He was just about to chastise Nowaki for being his usual overly romantic self, when he spotted something else by the curtain...a small green object protruding from behind the bath curtains, and what looked like the corner of a piece of paper. Hiroki swiped the curtains aside, and gasped at what he saw there.

A single red rose, attached to a card with his name on it. Nowaki had been the culprit behind this too.

Hiroki, hand trembling, reached out and picked it up. He carefully removed the card from where it was tied to the stem and opened it. It was in Nowaki's beautiful handwriting.

_Hiro-san_

_It's a little corny I know, but I'll hope you'll forgive me for it, just this once._

_You are the most precious thing in this world to me, and the dearest one to my heart._

_I will always love you._

_-Nowaki_

Hiroki's heart pounded in his ears, and he could feel tears threatening his stinging eyes as his fingers traced over the silky crimson petals of the beautiful flower.

"He never quits does he...he just never stops finding ways to tug at my heartstrings until they are just about to break, and when they finally do, then where will old 'Kamijou the Devil' be?

Hiroki felt ready to burst into tears of joy. But he managed to gain his composure enough to walk out of the bathroom to an expectant Nowaki, who had been counting on him finding the note the whole time.

Hiroki tried to screw his features into a placid, careless expression, but the task proved much too difficult, and he sat on the bed, tears wetting his light-brown eyes. Nowaki sat down next to him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Do you like it Hiro-san?" Nowaki asked him, kissing his cheek.

"You...you idiot..." Hiroki whispered, leaning into him. Nowaki pulled his face up towards his and kissed him, long and deep and sweet. Hiroki moaned and melted into his lover's passionate embrace. When they broke apart, his eyes were glossy and brimming with tears. "You're just too much Nowaki."

Nowaki stroked his cheek. "I know that...but I'm yours; don't ever forget that." 

Hiroki bit his lip and nodded, letting Nowaki hold him.

"Are you hungry? We can get room service." Nowaki said when he released his lover. Hiroki wiped his eyes and nodded again. "Will you let me pay for it though? I feel bad about you spending this much."

Nowaki only smiled. "Don't be silly. It's on me Hiro-san."

"Oh, I've never had American food before. What do you reccomend?"

"Oh, don't worry about that. This particular hotel offers a variety of Japanese dishes, so you don't have to force yourself to eat anything you're not sure about."

'God, he really thought of everything!' Hiroki thought in amazement. "Okay then. Let me see the menu."

The two of them ate an early dinner; it was around 5:00 by the time they finished. When he was done, Hiroki stretched and sighed. "Man, that was good!" He exclaimed. "So, what do you want to do now? How about we go down to the lounge?"

"Well, I thought you might want to spend some alone time together. Maybe rent a movie or something."

"O-okay I guess. What did you want to watch?"

"Oh, it dosen't really matter to me. You can pick what you want."

Hiroki shrugged, and suddenly felt very drowzy. "Ugh...you go ahead and watch something. I'm just going to lie down."

"You sure?" Nowaki asked, as Hiroki climbed into bed, burying himself under the sheets. "Yeah. Its fine. I'm just exhausted from the flight and everything."

He wasn't lying. He really was tired, but Nowaki didn't seem to want to leave his side for a moment. "Do you mind if I watch it on the TV in the bedroom? I'll keep it low."

"Sure...whatever...I'm not going to sleep anyway."

Nowaki grinned, climbing into bed next to Hiroki and turning on the TV. Hiroki studied his eyes in the soft neon glow of the TV set. Their usual cool sapphire blue was suddenly a bright aquamarine. The darkness of their bedroom was soothing and comfortable, and suddenly Hiroki found himself teetering on the edge of conciousness. He just laid there, watching Nowaki, until he found his eyelids drooping.

It was then he felt Nowaki lay down next to him and lace his fingers through Hiroki's, followed by a warm pair of lips grazing his forehead.

"Have a good rest Hiro-san. I love you."

Hiroki didn't reply. He face was flushing bright red and he was trying to pretend he was asleep the best he could, but his heart was just pounding so hard...

_"Love you too." _

Then he drifted easily to sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

Part seven. Enjoy!

...

The following day, Nowaki told Hiroki he had to go out and run a few errands; he wanted to know if Hiroki would be okay alone for a little while. Hiroki shrugged nonchalantly, claiming it was fine. He didn't bother to ask what sort of errands they were; obviously Nowaki was still commited to keeping all the minute details of their wedding from him, in hopes of maintaining the 'surprise.' Hiroki just didn't understand why Nowaki had to be so cheesy about it. He wasn't expecting more than just a simple ceremony at a local courthouse; why did it have to be built up so much?

It was Tuesday, and the big family gathering was scheduled for tommorow, so naturally, Hiroki was feeling nervous and antsy. Not that he'd expected his relatives to dislike Nowaki or anything, but because even among his own family he wasn't very social. Before Nowaki came along, he'd mostly kept to himself. He preferred it that way, up until he'd met Nowaki anyway.

Time was passing sluggishly that day. Hiroki spent it flipping through television channels, exploring the hotel, and wandering every now and then down to the lounge for a drink at the bar. He met a few Japanese tourists there, and he chatted casually for awhile, then he headed back to the room. He suddenly noticed the phone, and was reminded of the resolution he'd made to call his father and tell him about the wedding.

'Well, I guess the sooner I get it over with the better. Besides, this may be the only opportunity I have when Nowaki isn't home." He thought. Nervously, he headed towards the hotel phone and dialed the number, which he honestly needed to take a moment to fully remember, along with the area code of his father's city. After a brief recorded message about how Hiroki was placing a long-distance call, his heart thudded as he listened to the rings on the other line. He was almost half hoping his dad wasn't home, or was recovering over a hangover; pretty much any reason there could be so his father would'nt pick up the damn phone. With each ring, Hiroki could feel his terror rising; how was he going to keep composed after hearing his father's voice for the first time in over ten years?

At about the eighth ring, Hiroki spirit was lifting considerably as he prepared to hang up, but then, he heard the gravelly rough voice on the other line, and he knew instantly who's voice it was. As much he he hated this, there was no turning back now.

"Hello?"

Hiroki's heart hammered even faster. He swallowed back his fear. "D-Dad?"

There was a brief pause before any answer came. "H-Hiroki?" What the hell? I haven't heard from you in-"

"Yeah, yeah I know." Hiroki cut him off, not wanting his father to go into lecture mode on why Hiroki had been avoiding his all this time. "Dad, listen; I have something important I have to tell you."

"If this is about that stupid Alcoholics Anonymous bullshit you can just forget about it..."

Hiroki sighed inwardly, remembering quite bitterly the time his mother had tried to get his dad into a program to help his drinking problem. She had shown up teary-eyed and hysterical at his apartment door that same night.

"This is not about you dad. This is about me"

Another pause. "Hiroki, why the hell do you sound like you're calling from the bottom of the fucking ocean?" His father asked bitterly.

Hiroki bit his lip. "I'm calling from America dad."

"Wha-why the hell are you there for?" He demanded. It was then Hiroki noticed the slur in his voice over the scratchy reception. His father had obviously been drinking. 'Great. Just great. Should I have expected different from dear old dad?' He thought drily.

"Dad, you've been drinking haven't you?"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" His father slurred.

"Never mind." Hiroki took a deep breath. "Listen dad. The reason I called is I wanted to tell you something."

"Well spit it out then. I don't got all day."

Hiroki sighed. "Dad, I'm getting married."

"Wha...wait a minute...then why the hell are you in-" He cut off there, and Hiroki could almost hear the gears in his head turning as he put two and two together. "Wait, don't fucking tell me...what damn state are you in?" He demanded, his voice rising considerably.

Hiroki winced, but his voice remained calm. "Maine dad. I'm in Maine."

When he didn't hear an answer, Hiroki was certain his father had figured it out. "His name is Kusama Nowaki-"

" SHUT THE FUCK UP!" His father roared suddenly, and Hiroki could hear a loud slam from the other end of the line, followed by muffled crashing and shattering glass. "You...you FUCKIN LITTLE FAGGOT! SO THAT'S WHAT YOU'VE BEEN DOING ALL THIS TIME HUH? SUCKING SOME WORTHLESS FAGS PUNY..."

"Shut up! Don't you even dare call him worthless!" Hiroki shouted back, tears in his eyes. Of course he had been anticipating an explosion along these lines, but hearing his father's voice again...somehow...given him a false sense of hope that maybe he could reason with his father now, and now that same hope that was now crashing down all around him, and that was more than he could bear alone, without his father insulting the one he loved without any remorse or hesitation.

Hiroki's fists clenched, and his face flushed crimson with fury, and he shouted back into the phone without any restraint. "For your damn information, he is the best goddamn thing thats ever happened to mer, and if you had even the slightest clue as to how hard he's worked just to prove how much he cares for me-"

"He's a worthless fucking faggot. Just like you. A cock sucking abomination who'll be sucking your dick in hell. Thats what he is. That's _all _he is." His father hissed back at him, his voice seething with contempt and hatred. Hiroki was trembling with rage now, unable to bear another word.

"Then don't come. I didn't want you to come to begin with. I only even told you at all because of Nowaki-"

"Fuck him. The stupid fuck..." His father slurred, interrupting. "The two of you can fuckin rot together for all I care. He's a shithead just like you for being with him. I can't believe all this time you've given up on the love of your own father for some stupid faggot who probably cheats on you anyway."

"Okay, thats where I draw the line!" Hiroki shouted into the phone, his vision blurring with the rise of his growing fury. "I wasn't the one who gave up your love dad! You beat out of me any love or respect I had for you back then. And now you have the gall to stand there, piss ass drunk and talk shit about the man I love when you haven't even-"

"Love? Don't tell me you actually love him?" His father said incredulously. Hiroki was so mad now he could'nt even see straight. Shaking with rage, he clutched the one and screamed at the top of his lungs. "YES! YOU FUCKING DRUNKEN MORON! I LOVE HIM! I LOVE HIM ENOUGH TO WANT YOU OUT OF MY LIFE FOR GOOD! HE WAS MORE OF A COMFORT TO ME THAN YOU EVER WERE, AND NOTHING YOU DO OR SAY ABOUT HIM WILL EVER CHANGE THAT!" Hiroki was panting for breath by the time he finished, and his eyes stung as though he'd just poured vinegar in them. He just wanted to hang up the phone and go crawl under the sheets of his bed and never have to face anyone ever again.

"Fine, I hope you enjoy your eternity together FAG." His father hissed into the phone. Hiroki slammed down the reciever. At first, he felt so angry he was numb, but then, he could feel himself begin to tremble and quiver with hurt. The tears slid down his cheeks. One after another, and Hiroki could feel his legs weakening underneath him, until he finally sank to the floor, huddling in a fetal position, sobbing helplessly into his knees.

"Goddamn him...that asshole..." Hiroki could'nt believe it. He just could'nt believe it after ten damn years, his father hadn't even attempted to be kind to him, to congratulate him on his wedding. He hadn't even _tried. _Hiroki could'nt stand it; his father hated him. He should'nt even care. What was the point. He had Nowaki now. He didn't need that dick of man for a father. He never had. What else had he been expected anyway? A warm reunion with the man who had beaten him unrelentlessly as a child, who had threatened his mother and drank until he passed out?

What the hell had he been thinking?

The tears would'nt stop, and Hiroki climbed into bed, still shaking with rage. He wanted the whole world to dissappear. He wanted time to stop and his father to die and so many other useless, impossible things that would'nt have stopped this pain anyway. He was alone. He was helpless, and he was so, so tired. He never wanted to face Nowaki, to let him know of what had just happened. He would tell him that he'd decided not to do it after all...that was it...he would just shrug and say he'd decided never to tell him at all. Nowaki might be hurt a little, but it was nothing compared to the horror of confessing that his father hated him and their marriage.

Tears fell in steady streams for a nameless amount of time. Maybe minutes, maybe hours, and Hiroki was trying to pick himself up and gain his composure when he heard a key turn in a lock.

_Nowaki._

Hiroki, in a frenzy of panic, wiped and rubbed at his eyes as heard Nowaki's footsteps advancing towards the bedroom. He tried to straighten out his clothes and his hair so he didn't look like he'd been curled up in bed. He hurriedly grabbed a book on the sidetable and buried his face in it, as he knew his eyes were probably red and swollen from crying.

"Hiro-san? I'm back! Sorry I took so long!"

Hiroki's heart leapt as he heard that beautiful voice. '_Oh God Nowaki...why does it have to be like this?'_

Nowaki cheerfully walked to the edge of the bed. "Hey, Hiro-san?"

"W-what? I'm reading!" Hiroki snapped rudely. He didn't want to sound so cruel, but he could'nt risk Nowaki seeing his face...

Nowaki's face fell. "I just wanted to say I missed you, that's all. Whats the matter Hiro-san?"

_Oh God...Oh God...no...don't you dare start crying again! If you do...I'll..._

"Hiro-san?"

Nowaki peaked over the edge of the book and gasped.

"Hiro-san! Your face!"

"I _said go away!"_ Hiroki cried, throwing the book at him, which narrowly missed Nowaki's shoulder, and covering his face with his hands. _Don't look at me...I can't let you know..._

"Hiro-san...please..." Nowaki urged gently, taking Hiroki's hand. "What happened?"

"I...it's nothing. Please just leave me..."

"_No." _Nowaki said harshly, pulling Hiroki towards him. "I will never do that Hiro-san. Never. Now you tell me what happened right this minute!" Nowaki demanded. Hiroki could feel his eyes welling up with tears again, but he forced them back. Suddenly, Nowaki's expression changed, revealing understanding; realization. "Hiro-san. You're father. Did you talk to him?"

"NO!" Hiroki shouted fiercely, looking up into Nowaki's concerned alarmed eyes. "I told you...I'm..." Hiroki countered, voice quivering. But suddenly he just gave up. A fresh wave of tears ran down his face as he leaned forward against Nowaki. Nowaki gasped softly, but then wrapped Hiroki in his long warm arms.

"I hate him..." Hiroki whispered into Nowaki's chest. "I do, I really do."

"It's okay. I'm here now. I'm sorry I wasn't here for you."

"No. Don't think that way." Hiroki pleaded, his body filling with Nowaki's warmth, and finally relaxing. "He's as much a bastard now as he was back then...but...he didn't even try to patch things up between us...he didn't even _try._"

"I'm sorry Hiro-san." Nowaki whispered, kissing Hiroki's earlobe. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be." Hiroki said, wiping his tears away. "I just...I just wanted him to try, Nowaki. I just wanted, for once in my life, for him to at least attempt to be decent towards me. You know, his _son?_ He didn't even have to be a father. I just wanted him to be decent, but instead, all he did was scream at me about how fucking faggot and that I was going to hell, and that would'nt have hurt me so much if he had just stuck with insulting me...but..." Hiroki stopped dead, realizing he had said something he hadn't meant to.

Nowaki frowned, understanding immediately. "Oh Hiro-san...you're hurting because of things he said about me?" He asked, resting a hand on his cheek.

Hiroki didn't answer. He really could'nt get anything past Nowaki.

Nowaki held him closer and kissed him softly. "Hiro-san...I don't care what your father thinks about us. I thought you knew that."

"But it dosen't_ matter!_" Hiroki insisted, pulling away and meeting Nowaki's eyes. "You think it's easy for me to know that you were left on a doorstep when you were an infant, virtually abandoned by whatever family you have? I wanted my whole family to welcome you in, to treat you as their own! I wanted you to know what it meant to be loved by not just me, but the rest of the Kamijou family too! Maybe I wasn't expecting my father to be the warmest, most loving person, but I had been at least hoping he might take some initiative to accept you and get to know you. I wanted to clear things up between us! Not for me, for _you!_" Hiroki paused, feeling the weight of Nowaki's stunned gaze on him. It was unusual for him to be speak this way about something to Nowaki. He knew that, but this wasn't something he wanted to keep to himself anymore. In fact, he didn't want to hide anything anymore. The burden was too great, and he loved Nowaki too much to bear it anymore.

He leaned forward, resting his head on Nowaki's chest. "You remember don't you? How hard you worked and how much you achieved...just so you could feel as though you were worthy of me? Well, all I wanted was to repay that effort; to give you something, instead of letting you do all the giving. I just wanted that for you..." Hiroki finished with a whisper, but then added so quietly Nowaki could barely even hear it.

"...because I love you so desperately, and now I can't even offer you that."

A pause. An infinte pause.

Nowaki was too overwhelmed to say anything at first. Hiroki could feel his heart pounding beneath his shirt against his forehead. He supposed Nowaki was hurt, upset, and confused. _'The feeling's mutual.'_

But then, he felt those arms wrapping around him once more, but tighter than they'd been in a long time. This time, it was Nowaki's face buried into Hiroki's shoulder, his long fingers tangled in Hiroki's chestnut hair, clutching him so close it was hard for Hiroki to breathe.

"Hiro-san..." He whispered. "Oh God..."

Hiroki didn't move, trying to decipher Nowaki's emotions. "Nowaki, listen..."

"No, I need to say this now." Nowaki countered softly. "Hiro-san, after what you've just said to me, I never want to hear you say that you don't deserve me or that you aren't worthy of me again...I don't think I've ever been happier just to hear those words from you. You went through all of this for me Hiro-san...just because you wanted me to feel welcome into your family...

"Hiro-san...this is just one of the many reasons why you are so important to me. Why I simply can't live without you. You might think yourself cold and selfish...but you the most considerate and loving human being I've ever had the pleasure to be with.

"But Hiro-san...you need to know this. I love you, and ever since I've met you, the void I once had inside of me from being alone and orphaned all those years...it just didn't exist anymore. I was free of it forever. But even beyond just that, the times I've spent with your family have been some of the best of my life. Even tommorow, they will all be waiting for us. It dosen't matter to me if you're father is the way he is. You've already given me everything I could ever want, and I would'nt give it up for the world."

"N-Nowaki." Hiroki muttered. "I..."

"I love you Hiro-san." Nowaki said softly, kissing his forehead.

Hiroki felt his eyes sting once more, and he lifted up his lips to Nowaki's, kissing him.

Nowaki moaned and melted into the kiss so filled with love and desire. He and Hiroki fell back on the bed, kissing deeply and sweetly. When they finally broke apart, it was Hiroki who said it first this time.

"I love you Nowaki."

To which Nowaki only smiled, and held his beloved, as they once again drifted off to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Wow, I've gotten a lot of postitive feedback for this story! I'm so happy! (P.S. The wedding chapter's coming soon! Just hang in there! XD)

Enjoy!

...

"Oh Hiro-san! Almost ready?" Called out a very cheerful Nowaki.

Hiroki was straightening out his satin blue tie in the bathroom. It was Wednsday night and the two of them were just finishing getting ready for the Kamijou family gathering, and a very disgruntled, jittery Hiroki had spent almost 15 minutes in the bathroom just making sure his clothes looked all right on him. His entire family, (save his douche of a father,) was going to be there. Also, he was pretty sure Nowaki had invited those old men who addressed him as "Wacchan," whom Hiroki had briefly encountered upon his and Nowaki's first meeting.

_I guess this is the closest thing to a wedding rehearsal I'm ever going to have_. Hiroki mused, knowing Nowaki would probably be going over with all the guests where to go and where to stand and reminding them all of the location and those sorts of things. _He's been so secretive about this whole thing. He's really commited to keeping it a surprise, but maybe I can wring a few answers out of my mother. She is a total blabbermouth-_

He started when he saw Nowaki's reflection join his in the mirror, and as his lover bent down to kiss his cheek.

"Still playing dress-up?" Nowaki said cheekily.

"Brat!" Hiroki snapped, but still not able to stop himself from blushing. "I-I'm just making sure my tie is straight.

Nowaki rolled his eyes, smiling from ear to ear. "Oh Hiro-san. You always look perfect."

Hiroki _harrumphed _and stomped out of the room. "Whatever let's go." He said.

Nowaki grinned.

...

They had arranged reservations at an incredibly famous French restauraunt for the pre-wedding get-together. (At Nowaki's insistence of course, despite Hiroki's protests about the cost.)

"Nowaki...is you're budget really going to cover this?" He questioned drily as Nowaki drove the car towards the restauraunt. Nowaki only smiled again. _God that gets annoying sometimes. _Hiroki thought.

"Just trust me Hiro-san." He answered, vaguely but happily. Hiroki sighed and gazed out the window.

"This is such a pretty state." Hiroki murmured. "Much prettier than Tokyo."

"I know, isn't it? I think it's-"

"HOLY SHIT! IS THAT THE PLACE YOU CHOSE?" Hiroki cried, pointing in awe at the huge, gorgeously lit building that was approaching them.

"Yes Hiro-san. _Le Petite Ange."_ Nowaki told him sweetly, taking his hand. "Just like Hiro-san; my little angel."

"Oh hush already!" Hiroki hissed, gaping at the enormous two story restaurant. Even though it was around 7:00 that night, the building was ornamented with overhanging lights that decorated the front entrance, and the windows were made of expensive multi-colored stained glass; the light shining behind them only made the restauraunt look even more gorgeous and refined. The place had a huge outside porch where couples chatted and ate under elegant-looking umbrellas. Hiroki caught sight of two waiters, who were both dressed in identical white suits and ties, and serving hor'dourves to their guests on shining silver platters. Hiroki gasped softly at the beautiful sight, and felt his heart thump wildly with both anticipation and anxiety. Why the hell did Nowaki have to go all out like this for his sake? There was no way reservations for a place like this came cheap.

_He is just so incredible..._

Hiroki glanced around the parking lot as Nowaki parked the car. He'd been told his relative would be waiting by the front entrance for them. When Hiroki stepped out of the car, and began walking up towards the restauraunt, Nowaki clutched his hand suddenly and tightly. But, for once, Hiroki didn't protest, and let Nowaki hold it, enjoying the feeling of his soft, smooth skin_...And his hands are just so warm..._

Upon getting closer, he noticed a small group of people in front of the doors, but before he could tell who they were...

"Hiro-chan!"

His mother, teary-eyed and stumbling in her overpriced high heels, came racing across the wooden slats of the porch, down the steps, and gathered him in a tight loving embrace.

"Oh Hiroki! It's wonderful to see you again! It's been so long!" Hiroki sighed, patting her back politely and patiently.

"Oy mom, it hasn't been that long. C'mon already; you're embarassing me..." He muttered. With one final squeeze his mother released him, grinning madly.

"It's wonderful to see you again Nowaki. We are all just so happy for the two of you." Hiroki glanced at Nowaki and thought he appeared close to tears as he and his mother shared a quick hug.

Eventually the rest of the family noticed the guests of honor had finally arrived, and all flooded down the steps to meet the happy couple. Hiroki hadn't seen some of these people in a long time, but that hardly affected the warm family atmosphere as his family members each congratulated Hiroki and Nowaki on their union.

"Oh HIROKI! I'M SO PROUD!" Hiroki's ninety-year old Grandmother sobbed as she engulfed her grandson in a highly suffocating and embarassing hug.

"Way to go bud, you're finally getting hitched." Hiroki's Uncle Yamaki said jubilantly, patting his nephew on the back as Hiroki continued to be smothered by his grandmother and congratulated by his various other relatives, none of whom attempted to pry the elderly woman off of him.

"Oy Grandma! Would you let GO already?" Hiroki cried, struggling to free himself from her killer grip, but she ignored him and continued to cry happily.

"My mother is a bit overjoyed, as you can tell." Hiroki's mother whispered to Nowaki, her face flushed with embarassment. "Poor Hiroki."

"His family really loves him." Nowaki said, mostly to himself. "Can't say I blame them."

A few of Hiroki's relatives eventually lined up to shake hands with Nowaki and give their words of polite respect and approval. Most of them had already met him at one point or another, and were all very fond of him. However, it was the first time Hiroki's grandmother was meeting Nowaki face to face. She'd spoken to him several times on the phone, but truth was she didn't get out very much, either being too tired or sick with some minor ailment to join in most of the Kamijou family gatherings. But when she wasn't sick or tired out, she was an extremely lively, kind-hearted woman, but also prone to overreaction. When she finally released Hiroki and went up to shake Nowaki's hand, she nearly exploded with excitement.

"Oh my _GOD! _Nowaki! Is that _really _you? He- hes GORGEOUS! I mean, I expected him to be handsome...but he's a total _HUNK! _Emiko! Is this really going to be my son in law? How did Hiroki manage to attract such a fine piece of-"

"Okay mother...I think we get it..." Hiroki's mother said weakly. "We should probably head inside now."

"Good idea." Nowaki said, rather embarrased. The rest of the family nodded and muttered in agreement and walked into the restaurant.

Hiroki wandered back to Nowaki's side, still rather lightheaded fron nearly being strangled by his grandmother.

"Oy...Nowaki...why do you have six heads?" Hiroki muttered, sounding utterly perplexed.

Nowaki chuckled and threw an arm around his waist. "You're family is so wonderful Hiro-san."

"Yeah? You think? Sorry about my insane grandmother." Hiroki mumbled, blushing yet again. "I really think my mom is a masochist sometimes...should've warned you about her..."

"Oh, don't worry about it. She's lovely." Nowaki reassured him, entering the restaurant with the rest of the family.

"...You're way too candid...hey, where are those old guy friends of yours? Their still coming aren't they?"

"Yeah...they said they might be a little late though." Nowaki replied. "No big deal. They assured me it was okay to start without them, and they'd probably be here in time for dessert."

"_Dessert?_ Jesus..." Hiroki mumbled. Nowaki only smiled.

The family was lead into a giant room Nowaki had reserved for the occassion. It was beautiful inside, the floor lined with an oriental style rug, and the walls covered with fine oil paintings on every wall. The individual tables were covering in lacy white tablecloths, with red ginger-scented candles in the middle of each table. There were baskets of freshly baked garlic bread and menus on the tables as well, and the family soon filled these tables, scanning over their menus eagerly, and debating which french dishes sounded more appetizing. Nowaki, Hiroki, and Hiroki's mother took one table. Hiroki's grandmother, uncle, and aunt to another, and so on. There were at least three people at each of the ten tables, all chatting easily and commenting on the elegant atmosphere of the room.

"This is amazing." Hiroki murmured in amazement. "I can't believe you did all this for me..."

Nowaki took his hand. "I'm happy you like it Hiro-san." He said sweetly, kissing him on the cheek.

"Oh, you two are just so adorable!" Hiroki's mom cooed, smiling happily while flipping through her menu. "Nowaki, you don't happen to know French by any chance do you? I can't seem to make out this menu..."

"I'll call someone over to translate it for you." Nowaki told her. Eventually everyone in the room ended up doing that, but they all agreed the food was delicious. Hiroki ordered linguini smothered in alredo sauce, Nowaki ordered a stuffed crab, and Hiroki's mother ordered pea and mushroom soup, which Hiroki thought smelled revolting. The three of them chatted for a while, until eventually Hiroki's mother brought up the topic of Hiroki and Nowaki's honeymoon. Upon hearing the word, Hiroki's face immediately became red.

"Aww, C-C'mon! Do we have to talk about that here?" Hiroki stuttered, not evening having thought about their honeymoon, and whatever sick, corny things Nowaki had up his sleeve. (He didn't question for a moment that Nowaki would'nt have had any plans, being the goofy, hopeless romantic he was.)

Nowaki's face lit up then. "Oh, well...I was thinking me and Hiro-san could just lay in bed and snuggle all through our honeymoon...but I heard there's supposed to be a fireworks show sometime before we leave..."

"Oh God would you just _stop _already!" Hiroki groaned loudly, taking a giant swig of wine in an attempt to hide his reddened cheeks. Nowaki looked over at him, a concerned expression on his face.

"Um...Hiro-san, you might want to slow down a little..." He suggested, a little uneasily. "I think you've just finished you're fifth glass..."

"Aw hell, don't worry about me!" Hiroki said, a little too loudly and with his voice slurring a little bit. "I can hold my alcohol like a pro! Man this is some good shit...hey Nowaki have you tried this?"

But Nowaki wasn't paying attention to his fiancee anymore. As it turned out, three people had just walked in. Hiroki knew at first glance they were the ones Nowaki had invited and said were showing up at dessert. They looked pretty much the same way they did all those years ago, only their hair was even grayer and they face more carved with wrinkles and lines. Nowaki hurriedly rushed over to greet them. Hiroki was debating on whether he should follow when someone else entered the room whom was the last person Hiroki had expected to come; it was the woman who had given Hiroki the cake recipe. The woman Nowaki had called...

..."Saya-chan."

Nowaki stopped dead when he saw her. Hiroki could see he was shaking; probably blinking with disbelief. Hiroki sure was.

The three men whispered a few words to him, then Nowaki nodded and stumbled past them to greet the woman. She had straightened her long black hair and was wearing a shimmering satin dress of red and white fabric. Tears beaded her eyelashes as she wrapped her arms around Nowaki.

"Wh-what the..." Hiroki mumbled, feeling a little dizzy from the wine. But then he felt someone standing beside him, and then a hand clapping him on the shoulder.

"Yep. This is definately the same kid we saw ten years ago isn't it?"

"Yep. I don't forget a face."

"Er...he looks a little flustered though."

"Wh-why the hell is that woman here?" Hiroki finally asked, ignoring the previous comments, (especially the one about him being a kid.) "Did Nowaki invite her?"

"Nope. That would be our doing. When Wacchan told us about the weddig, we got in touch with Saya-chan to tell her the news, and since Nowaki said it would be okay if we brought one guest with us, we thought we'd surprise him."

"What a reunion, huh? It's nice..."

Hiroki didn't stick around to hear the rest of their conversation. Saya-chan and Nowaki were starting to leave the room, and Hiroki wanted to know what they were talking about. He told his mother he was going to the bathroom, then when the three old men had left to go find a table, he slunk out the door after them.

_I probably should'nt be doing this. _Hiroki thought guiltily to himself. _I mean, what the hell do I care what they talk about anyway? I've only met the woman once..._

Suddenly, he saw the two of them stop outside a janitor's closet. Hiroki ducked into a narrow hallway which led to the bathrooms, and he was close enough to hear the main gist of their conversation.

"...Oh Nowaki...I can't believe I'm talking to you...and right before your wedding..."

"...Saya-chan...It's just so incredible to actually see you again."

"I actually ran into your fiancee a little while back. He probably told you about it. He seemed so frantic in search of a proper gift for your anniversary night."

"Yes, that's my Hiro-san. Oh, Saya, I can't even begin to tell you how much he means to me."

Hiroki's heart thudded and he dared to peak out at them. He saw Saya-chan nod.

"Yes. He was very respectful towards me when he realized who I was. I could tell right off the bat he was a good person. A little rough around the edges maybe...but definately a good person."

Hiroki heard Nowaki chuckle. "Yes, he does doubt that about himself very often. But he just dosen't understand...I would _die _for him Saya-chan...I know it might be hard for you to understand, given the unorthodox fact of our relationship that we are both men...but..."

"Love has no boundaries Nowaki. I learned that a long time ago. It takes a mature, reasonable human being to understand that, and I think, looking back, you always did. I raised you well, I'd say. And I hope you and Hiroki will be very happy together."

"Oh, don't you worry about that. I could'nt imagine living the rest of my life with anyone in this world...but Hiro-san. He's..._everything..._to me."

_Nowaki..._

Hiroki felt just about ready to break down right there in the hallway, but he finally recollected himself and dashed back to the room before he or Saya-chan could notice him.

When Hiroki sat back down at the table, his head was swimming. Everyone in the room was in high spirits, just finishing their meals and settling back in their chairs to digest. By the time Nowaki finally returned with Saya-chan, Hiroki had finished off three more glasses of wine, and was dozing with his head on the table, his mother incessantly shaking him by the shoulder, urging him to wake up.

When Nowaki saw this, he simply smiled and chuckled, tussling his dozing lover's hair.

"See Saya-chan..." He murmured lovingly. "How could I even begin to resist him?"

Saya-chan smiled too; she had no need to worry for Nowaki's happiness. She had never seen him so light-hearted and joyful in her entire life. The days of him being a lonely, solemn-faced orphan were gone for good. He had grown up his entire life alone, but now, he had found love. True, honest love.

He had found his purpose in life.

When Hiroki finally opened his eyes again, he was back in his and Nowaki's spacious hotel sutie, tucked under layers of sheets. He could faintly sense Nowaki shuffling above him, smoothing out his side of the bed. Suddenly, furiously, Hiroki realized where he'd last been and shot up in bed, panting and glancing around the room like a mad man, totally blinded with panic.

"GAH! What am I doing here? What happened? What the hell is going on?"

"Hiro-san! Calm down!" Nowaki said, trying not to laugh at his adorable yet frantic fiancee. "You're home now."

"I-I know that you idiot!" Hiroki blustered. "But wheres the restaurant? Where's the party?"

Nowaki could help but snicker, causing Hiroki to glare at him. "Hiro-san...the truth is, you got drunk and passed out. No one could wake you up, so we just ate dessert and I carried you back to the car."

Hiroki felt his eyes twitch with humilation. He imagined himself, horrifyed, being carried like a sleeping infant in Nowaki's arms, in front of his whole family...

"GYAAAAHHH! NOW I'LL HAVE TO KILL MYSELF! THERE'S NO WAY I CAN LIVE THIS DOWN! THEY'RE ALL GOING TO BE AT THE WEDDING TOO! GOD i'M SO DAMN HUMILATED!" Hiroki shouted, clutching at his head and loathing himself for not being able to resist the tantalizing allure of aged red wine.

"Hiro-san! Calm down!" Nowaki laughed, resting a hand on Hiroki's shoulder. "Everyone was fine about it."

"GOD! I'M RUINED! CURSE MY WEAKNESS FOR ALCOHOL!" Hiroki cried again, ignoring the futile attempts of Nowaki to comfort him. He buried his face in his hands and felt like weeping with anguish...until he felt Nowaki's arms encase him.

"Its okay." Nowaki urged gently. Hiroki sighed, turning around and wrapping his arms around him.

"Everyone must have thought I was pathetic; passing out like that."

"No, no one did. In fact...not many people seemed that surprised, to be honest..."

"WHAT?" Hiroki thundered. "Those bastards were expecting that?"

"Oh Hiro-san, I was only kidding about that." Nowaki said, holding him closer. "To be honest though, you looked positively adorable, all slouched over the table, a little drool dribbling out the corner of your lips..."

Hiroki pulled back, glaring at him. "You really are something aren't you?"

Nowaki grinned. "I know." He muttered softly. "But I can't help myself."

Hiroki sighed, resting his head on Nowaki's chest. "Moron..." _I love you._

Nowaki kissed his forehead. "You are my entire world Hiro-san. I just hope you know that."

The two settled back in bed together, kissing. Hiroki gazed up into Nowaki's eyes for a moment.

"I do..." He murmured.

Nowaki then kissed him one more and Hiroki turned out the light.

"Let's go to sleep now, I guess. I'm tired." Hiroki said, turning out the light. Hiroki noticed Nowaki had actually undressed him as well as tucking him in bed. _He's so cheesy like that..._

_...And I love him so damn much..._

Nowaki nodded. "Okay." He snuggled closer to Hiroki. "Love you Hiro-san..."

"L-Love you too..."

Face burning, Hiroki suddenly had a strong impulse to kiss him. Clenching his eyes shut, he leaned forward and kissed him softly on the lips, but Nowaki didn't stir; he'd already fallen asleep.

"H-he was that tired? Who falls asleep that fast?" Hiroki thought to himself. Then, he leaned down and whispered something in Nowaki's ear, so low he wasn't sure Nowaki could hear it even if he was awake.

"I heard what you said to her Nowaki...and you mean everything to me too."

Then Hiroki closed his eyes, and fell asleep beside his lover.


	9. Chapter 9

**Finally...we come to...the Egoist Wedding!**

**Dum dum dum!**

**This HAS to happen in the manga/anime one day! It MUST! I shall not rest until I get my official Egoist Wedding!**

**Enjoy!**

**...**

Hiroki stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom yet again, only this time, he could hardly unbutton his shirt, his hands were shaking so hard. The minute he'd woken up that day he had checked almost five times on ten minutes the date on the calender, just to make sure that today was really the day. And it was. It had come upon him so fast, now that it was here, the reality of it had pracitcally knocked the breath from his lungs.

Hiroki had never been so overwhelmed with butterflies in his life. Disgraceful, he thought. _I'm a grown man, yet I feel like a thirteen year old girl! Oh God...this is really it._

The day of their wedding.

He looked over to where he had placed the tuxedo, neatly folded on the bathroom counter. He began to strip off his shirt and carefully put on the shirt, than the vest, than the tie. He gazed back at his reflection; he didn't look or even feel like himself. This was so new for him really...this whole thing...

...and yet he could'nt be happier.

"Hiro-san? Almost ready?" Nowaki called from outside the bathroom. Hiroki swallowed, smoothing out his hair one last time, before he finally opened the door.

"Oh Hiro-san! You look so cute in that tux!" Nowaki gushed, taking his lover into his arms, showering his face with kisses.

"K-knock it off! Don't call me cute!" Hiroki blustered, pulling away with a flushed face and trying to compose himself. "A-anyway...can't you please enlighten me as to what the hell our wedding plans are? You haven't told me a damn thing!"

"Oh Hiro-san, I told you I wanted it to be a surprise..." Nowaki replied, a huge grin on his face. "I can't spoil it now..."

"God, you're impossible..." Hiroki muttered, shaking his head. "And I look so stupid in this tux. White looks horrible on me..."

"Oh no, don't be silly Hiro-san. You look perfect!" Nowaki exclaimed, embracing him from the back and nuzzling his face lovingly in his lover's carefuly combed brown locks. "...Just like always..."

"Oy..." Hiroki sighed.

"C'mon, lets get married now Hiro-san." Nowaki murmured, starting to lead Hiroki by the hand to the door.

"Can't you at least tell me what courthouse we're going to?" Hiroki barked, trying to hide how happy he was inside. "Or _where_ the hell it is? Honestly, a few hints would be nice!"

Nowaki chuckled and kissed him. "Oh, don't worry Hiro-san, you'll see."

"But-" Hiroki started, but he knew the conversation was over. _Baka Nowaki...he's such a dumb ass..._

Yet all the same, his heart was swollen with anticipation, anxiousness, eagerness...all the usual, inummerable feelings that Nowaki prompted within him. As he sat beside Nowaki in the rental car, few words were exchanged between then; Nowaki refusing to reveal anything to Hiroki. Hiroki only rolled his eyes and went along with it, until Nowaki stopped the car on the side of the street behind a short row of parked cars. Before Hiroki could question where the hell they were, Nowaki told him, quite suddenly, to close his eyes.

"W-what the hell are you on about?" Hiroki demanded, glaring at him. "Why the hell would I close my eyes?"

Nowaki just grinned. "Please, just trust me Hiro-san."

Hiroki sighed tiredly. "You're such a pain in the ass..." He grumbled, but not coldly; more like a sigh of resignation or slight perplexity. Nowaki led him by the hand down the sidewalk, whihc undoubtedly caused many people to turn their heads and wonder what a tall Japanese man was doing leading another by the hand down the busy streets of a cozy Portland village. Nowaki was oblivious to their stares; too elated to even give them a second thought. Finally the couple stopped.

"All right Hiro-san, you can open your eyes now." Nowaki said softly, his lips brishing Hiroki's ear lobe.

"Oh God, what have I told you about doing shit like that in pub...lic..." Hiroki's voice faltered on the final word, his hand dropping from Nowaki's to his side. His eyes widened at the enormous, emaculate chapel before him. The whole thing looked like it was crafted of white shining marble, and it had an old-fashioned arch doorway, the outside of that arch engraved with elegant latin inscriptures above the entrance. The windows were made of stained glass, and a gorgeous rose garden surrounded the doors on either side, releasing rich, romantic aromas into the crisp, autumn air. Hiroki had never seen such a dazzling church in all his life, and as they stood there, time seemed to stop, as the weight of what Nowaki had done for him settled on and around him like a shroud. He was at a complete loss for words as he turned around to face Nowaki...

"Nowaki...don't tell me...you..."

Nowaki just took his hand. "Yes Hiro-san. I did. Everyone's waiting out back by the lake.

"L-lake?" But Hiroki was silenced once again as Nowaki led him to the back of the chapel and he saw that all of the wedding guests had already arrived and were waiting for them in their seats, which were set out in rows on the lawn before a wooden platform that served as an altar..._their _altar... An elderly female organ-player also sat close to the platform at her organ, along with a clergyman who stood waiting before the shore of a pristine lake, the surface of which glittered in the sunlight and temporarily blinded Hiroki as he gazed at the scene with a mixture of awe, shock, joy, and complete overwhelment.

If ever in his life Hiroki had ever imagined feeling just about to fall to pieces with happiness, it was nothing compared to now. He just wanted to throw himself into Nowaki's arms and sob with ecstacy, than take him to a dark secluded place, (perhaps another library) and make love to him until he burst...

"Hiro-san? You okay?" Nowaki asked gently, noticing the way Hiroki's eyes were swimming with tears with concern.

"Y-yeah...just give me a minute..." Hiroki whispered, trying to take deep breaths and calm himself. Resisting that incessant urge to throw himself into Nowaki's arms was getting so hard to control...

"They're waiting for us Hiro-san." He urged softly, taking his hand once more. "Let's go."

Hiroki bit his lip, nodding slowly, as Nowaki led him down a narrow strip of carpeting. Despite himself, he found himself clutching Nowaki's arm tightly, on impulse. His bottom lip quivered as the organ music began to play, a soft, slow-paced rendition of "Wedding March" as the two men walked in unison down the aisle. Hiroki saw out of the corner of his eye that his crazy grandmother was already full out bawling, and his mother was patting her arm comfortingly while simultaneously dabbing at her own eyes.

Nowaki and Hiroki finally stopped, and stood together in front of the clergyman, fingers laced together. Hiroki's gaze was locked onto Nowaki's, whose own were glazed over with emotion and love. The clergyman actually spoke Japanese, so Hiroki could understand his words, contrary to what he'd expected. As the man kept speaking, Hiroki could feel his hands trembling and his lip quivering even more. It was getting more and more difficult to hold himself together, looking into Nowaki's shimmering eyes as they finally arrived to the part they both had been waiting for...the vows.

"Nowaki Kusama, do you take this man, Hiroki Kamijou, to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have, to hold, and to cherish, for as long as you both shall live, until death do you part?"

Nowaki's smile was radiant as he said it; "I do."

Two steady streams of tears finally escaped and poured down Hiroki's cheeks, but the clergyman did not pause. _This is really it..._

"Hiroki Kamijou, do you take this man, Nowaki Kusama, to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have, hold, and cherish, for as you as you both shall live, until death do you part?"

Hiroki choked back a sob as he answered. "I do."

The clergyman nodded and continued, but the rest of the words didn't seem to register properly, and just ran together in a jumbled strand of noise that went on until Hiroki recognized the sounds of polite clapping and Nowaki pulling him in for a deep, wonderful kiss. Hiroki's muscles relaxed instantly as he moaned softly and put his arms around Nowaki's waist as he kissed him back. No one else existed. No one else mattered. They were bound together forever now. No one would keep them apart, or even could. When they separated, Nowaki was stroking the Hiroki's cheeks and whispering soothing words. The clapping went on from Hiroki's family, and Nowaki's three guests, as well as a very touched and overjoyed Saya-chan, who had her hand clasped to her chest and was holding back her tears as well as she could.

Nowaki briefly shook the clergyman's hand, thanking him for his service. The man gave a polite smile and bowed, being of Japanese descent himself. Hiroki was trying to wipe his eyes, which were already reddening, when Nowaki suddenly whispered something to the man, who nodded in response, and Nowaki suddenly put a hand on Hiroki's shoulder and addressed the company.

"Everyone, before we go to the reception, I have a few things I need to say." Everyone who had started to get up immediately began to sit back down, and studied Nowaki with great interest. Hiroki glanced over at him, teary-eyed and bewildered. "N-Nowaki...wha-"

"Please Hiro-san, just let me do this." Nowaki murmured, then continued.

"I just want to thank you all so much for coming out here for our wedding, and I want you all to know that this has been the most wonderful moment of my life. God knows I've waited so long for this moment, when me and Hiro-san could be bound together as one. I...I have not known what it truly means to love someone...until I met him. Since the first moment I laid eyes on him, I made a promise to myself; that I would be here for this person, to honor and treasure him, for the rest of my life...but more than that...

"I...I know Hiro-san has had a difficult past, in some aspects, but that never has, or will hinder my love for him. It has only made me love him more, and committed me to forever be by his side to cherish and love him with all of my being." Finally, he turned to Hiroki, who felt just about to crack. "I will always protect you Hiro-san. You are my husband now...my _life_... and nothing in this world will ever change that. _Nothing._

_"Nowaki!" _Hiroki sobbed, completely breaking down as the wedding guests all murmured collective sighs of emotion and began to applaud once more. Nowaki embraced his lover as the company dispersed and began to lead the way into the chapel, knowing it was time for the reception. while Nowaki and Hiroki lingered behind, holding each other.

"Nowaki," Hiroki managed quietly, clutching him tightly and crying into his shoulder. "I...I..."

"You don't have to say anything Hiro-san." Nowaki whispered, nuzzling him. "I just needed you to know. I needed them all to know." He released his near-hysterical husband and laced his fingers through his hand. "C'mon, I'm sure you're hungry, lets get something to eat."

"No...I need to say something too." Hiroki whispered tearfully, holding Nowaki back and looking him deep in the eyes.

He inhaled deeply. "Nowaki, you m-mean th-the entire world to me, just...the entire world...I...I would do anything for you and...I...I love you so much goddamn it..." Hiroki's voice gave out once more, as he shook and heaved with sobs. "I...I still can't even say it properly, even now...even now." Nowaki smiled warmly, wiping his tears away.

"You didn't need to tell me that Hiro-san. I've known it all along."

"H-how?" Hiroki asked, voice faltering. "You know how I am and-"

"Yes I do." Nowaki replied, kissing him on the forehead. "And I would'nt change you a bit, Hiro-san. It's like I said," He then stroked Hiroki finger that had the wedding ring on it, and kissed it. "I know you better than you know yourself, and you've never had to convince me I was loved." Nowaki paused, gazing on his lover with eyes bursting with love. "And that only makes you all the more incredible; the fact I can just look into your eyes and see how much you love me...just from that...

"It's all that I need in this whole world."

Hiroki nodded, resting his head on Nowaki's shoulder as they followed the others inside. Nowaki curled an arm around his waist.

"I love you Hiro-san."

"Me...too..."

Then, the two of them entered the chapel together, hands linked together and hearts bound by the strength of a now eternal love.

**GYAH THAT FELT AWESOME! HOPE EVERYONE ENJOYED THE MUCH-BELATED WEDDING! **


	10. Chapter 10

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**Enjoy!**

**...**

"Ugh...Nowaki...can't you just tell me where the hell we're going already? I mean, it feels like we've been driving around for hours..."

"Hiro-san. I told you. Just trust me." Nowaki urged gently, stroking Hiroki's hand.

"Ugh...you're impossible. Can I at least take off this damn blindfold?" Hiroki asked, tugging at the black strip of cloth that covered his eyes. At Nowaki's insistence he'd finally agreed to put it on. _Another surprise apparently, god he's so damn cheesy..._

"Ah! We're here!" Nowaki gushed happily, squeezing Hiroki's hand. "Okay, Hiro-san, you can take off the blindfold now." Nowaki told him, smiling, as he turned off the ignition and led Hiroki out of the car.

"About damned time..." Hiroki mumbled, untying the cloth from his eyes, which were immediately blinded by the sight of the bright autumn sun sparkling on the coastline. Hiroki gazed at the vast expanse of water with awe and amazement. Nowaki had brought them to a beach, but it was different than any beach he'd ever seen. In Tokyo, it was hard to escape his busy schedule for any vacation or relaxation time, so he seldom went to beaches, though he'd frequently told Nowaki how they'd relaxed him so as a child. But this beach wasn't anything like those back in Japan. The sand here was clean and white and ran like water through your fingers when you picked it up in your hands, and there were practically the only ones there. Hiroki swallowed hard as he heard gulls cryign in the distance and the waves lapping rythmically and melodically against the shoreline.

"Nowaki...it's beautiful... " Hiroki whispered. Nowaki, who had just unfolded a towel on the sand close to the shoreline, grinned as Hiroki sat down on it, and reached out to rest an arm around his shoulders.

"I knew you'd like it. I knew not many other people would be here this time of year, so we could be in private." Hiroki had to agree. Autumn was hardly a month for beach-goers, but even so, it was pleasant and mild out, the sun's warmth at just the right level. It was a relatively nice day for autumn...and it was so quiet...Hiroki found himself nestling closer to Nowaki and lacing his fingers through the ones curled on his shoulder.

"I could watch this forever..." Hiroki found himself murmuring, letting the sound of the waves fill his heart. "It takes me back to when I was young...and my mother and I would come here..."

"Just the two of you?" Nowaki pressed curiously. Hiroki shook his head, sitting closer.

"One time Akihiko came too...but that was back in grade school."

Just then, Hiroki could feel Nowaki stiffen beneath him slightly. "Nowaki?"

"S-sorry..." Nowaki stuttered. "I can't being childish about that man, even now. I mean, I know you don't love him that way anymore...but it still...gets to me."

"Well, it should'nt." Hiroki told him firmly, clutching his hand, but then caught himself quickly and cleared his throat. "Er...I mean, don't be stupid! Do you honestly think I would let you drag me all the way to America to take me as your cheesy bride if I still loved Akihiko that way? I mean, c'mon!"

Nowaki sighed. "I know, Hiro-san." He paused. "I guess I'll always be that way." But then he smiled broadly, and chuckled to himself. "But Hiro-san is my bride now, so I guess there's no reason to worry! Ouch, that hurt Hiro-san."

"M-moron! Who said I was your damned bride?"

Nowaki blinked. "You just did Hiro-san."

Hiroki' face flushed, partly with embarassment and partly with happiness. "Aw crap, look what you made me do you bastard! I meant at least to _you_ I'm your bride. And apparently this _"romantic trip to the seaside" _is your cheesy idea of our honeymoon getaway, isn't that _right?_"Hiroki demanded.

Nowaki shrugged sheepishly. "Guess I've been found out huh?"

"Yes! You have!" Hiroki blustered, crossing his arms against his chest in a feeble attempt too seem annoyed. Nowaki saw right through it though, as he placed a hand on Hiroki's.

"But Hiro-san is happy, isn't he?" Nowaki asked, suddenly very uncertainly, making Hiroki want to slap him for sounding so insecure.

"Of course I am, dumbass." Hiroki grumbled. His raven-haired lover's blue eyes grew wide and happy-looking. "Oh Hiro-san..." He murmured softly, gazing at his husband's crimson cheeks. He felt himself lowering in, to kiss those tender, beautifully warm lips he had taken against his own so many times...Hiroki turned up his face slowly to look into Nowaki's eyes as he leaned forward...the gentle crashing sounds of the waves rising to a steady crescendo in the background...

But then all of a sudden, Hiroki felt a sharp jab on the back of his neck, and then another. He clutched at the skin there and found that it was throbbing. Nowaki gasped, feeling a sharp jab on his own neck as well, and turned around to find that two teenage boys had been throwing rocks at them, and now were laughing cruelly.

"Ha! Look at the two homos, making out on the beach!"

"Fucking faggots! Take this!"

"Cut that out!" Nowaki shouted angrilly, with an enraged look in his eyes. "Don't you dare touch Hiro-san!"

But the two childish, hateful adolescents kept up their mocking until something stopped them in there tracks; the sight of Hiroki Kamijou getting up and slowly walking towards them, giving them the famous "Kamijou the Devil," glare that would unfailingly send chills of fear down anyone's spine. As soon as the two boys were caught by this murderous glare, they screeched in horror and bolted from the scene. Nowaki ran up to his side, taking his hand.

"Oh Hiro-san! I'm so sorry...did they hurt you? Are you hurt Hiro-san?"

"No, I'm fine," Hiroki replied flatly, rubbing at his neck. "But if those two brats hadn't ran you would have seen two empty craters where their heads once were."

Nowaki laughed. "Hiro-san." But Nowaki stopped there and noticed Hiroki's quivering lip, and a moisture glistening over his eyes and beading his lashes... "Hiro-san? Are you okay?"

"It's nothing! Let's just go!" Hiroki barked, turning away quickly from Nowaki's worried gaze and briskly sprinting back towards their now wrinkled sandy towel. The edges of which had been soaked by the surf, and were now salty and wet. Hiroki rolled it up and started walking back towards the car.

"Hiro-san! What are you doing?" Nowaki asked. "We don't have to go yet!"

"I want to go home..." Hiroki mumbled softly. He was trying to keep his voice even, even though his tears. "I'm sorry...I just..."

Nowaki hadn't yet noticed those tears, but regardless took his husband into his arms. "C'mon. Sssshhh. It's all right...I'm here..."

"Damn it all..." Hiroki whispered. "Just damn them all..."

"Come on...there's one more thing I wanted us to do before we left." Nowaki urged, taking his distraught husband and leading him through the sandy dunes towards a large structure in the distance. They walked together in almost complete silence for up the an hour until they came upon their destination; it was a lighthouse, one of the tallest, and oldest ones in all of Maine. It also happened to be open to the public. Nowaki knew his Hiro-san would love the view from the top. Luckily, it wasn't very crowded, even in the outside picnic/lunch area, which was good because he doubted Hiro-san was in any mood to be around any other people besides Nowaki at the moment.

"Look Hiro-san, isn't it incredible? Let's climb to the top!"

Hiroki nodded wordlessly as Nowaki led him to the entrance down the boardwalk, paid their fee to climb the rickety iron stairs all the way to the top. The paused to take pictures at the half-way point through a small window, as Nowaki tired to cheer up his Hiro-san by pointing out all the buildings in the distance. They could even see their hotel from that height, but Hiroki wasn't even remotely interested. When they reached the top, Nowaki gasped and tried to act stunned and amazed by the view, as if he were a small child who had never seen the world from the top of a lighthouse before. But it was all fake. He was trying to do something, anything, to make his Hiro-san snap back to normal. Return to his old, harsh, grouchy self. It hurt Nowaki too much to see his husband look so desolate and defeated like this.

"C'mon Hiro-san, please." He urged softly. "Please cheer up and look at this view with me."

Hiroki didn't say anything, but he followed Nowaki to the railing and looked out at the glittering horizon. It was close to early evening now, since they had arrived at the beach by two, and the sun was just beginning to dip lower in the sky, turning it into a hazy mixture of red and cobalt blue. Clouds scattered across that multi-colored landscape, and their edges were illuminated by the rays of the setting sun so beautifuly it was like standing beneath a giant oil painting.

"Oh Hiro-san, isn't this so beautiful? We really came on a good day, didn't we?" Nowaki then felt an increase of weight on his shoulder and found that Hiroki had rested his head on it, silently.

"You know, I'd almost let myself believe that now we are really married, I would never have to face any hateful or malicious bastards like those ever again. Like the way I'd faced my father. I thought that I would never have to encounter that type of human scum again unless I willingly put myself in a situation that might involve them. I thought my father was the worst, but those brats were like miniature versions of him. One day they'll grow up and turn into drunk, stupid bastards just like him..."

Nowaki's heart lurched. "Hiro-san, please look at this view with me?" He asked softly. "I know you'll feel better. We'll both be-"

"You know something Nowaki?" Hiroki continued. "I don't even think you have any idea about how cruel and evil the world is. I really don't. No matter how old you get, I don't think you'll ever come close to fathoming how incredible a human being you are. Do you ever think about all the crap you've been through just to prove to me that you care? Don't you ever think about how many other people would just go away to America for a year and sleep around like a bunch of horny ass pigs and then come back with all smiles to their oblivious lover? You know, I don't even think you're physically capable of that."

"Oh Hiro-san, where is all this coming from?" Nowaki said softly wrapping an arm around Hiroki's shoulder and nuzzling him. "Of course I would never cheat on you. Never, in a million years..."

"My point exactly. That's why you're so special. If it were any other damn human male on this planet, I would say nine times out of ten, he'd be lying through his teeth...but you? Forget it...and yet, even incredible human beings like you aren't immune to cruelty. You still have to live to encounter it, deal with it, endure it like a trial. That really pisses me off. The fact that people like that and people like you can roam in the same territory. They should be locked away and left to rot in a cell somewhere at the bottom of the earth.

"Nowaki...what I'm trying to say is...I...I've dealt with this kind of shit my entire damn life. When I was a little kid, dealing with my feelings for Akihiko, they would show sometimes, and I would get bullied and harassed, and it practically ruined me as a human being. It would have if I hadn't learned from it and grew from it. But ever since I found you, that kind of pain has been a thing of the past. The only time you've hurt me was when you were away from me, and even then it was a misunderstanding.

Listen, what I want to say is, even thought I don't show it worth shit, I'm so happy that you're with me now. You're the only truly good human being I'll think I'll ever have known in this lifetime."

The silence that stretched forth then felt like it might last an eternity. Nowaki was so profoundly moved he didn't know what to say. He had never been moved to a point where he was completely speechless. What was he supposed to say now?

"H-Hiro-san..."

Hiroki stood closer to his speechless husband and gazed out at the water. "This view really is beautiful, isn't it? Thank you for this Nowaki. I really needed it."

Nowaki swallowed. God, how he loved this man...the sunlight had filled the liquid depths of his eyes, and they were more beautiful than he had ever seen before.

Together, they watched the sun dip beneath the horizon. Hiroki was grasping Nowaki's hand by this time, and standing with his head on Nowaki's shoulder and his eyes shut with bliss. Finally, Nowaki could'nt resist any longer, and he turned around and took Hiro-san's head in his hands. Hiroki's eyes fluttered open slowly, as he looked deeply into Nowaki's, which were close to bursting with tenderness for him.

"I love you, Hiro-san." Nowaki whispered tenderly. Then, he picked off where those boys had so cruelly interrupted. He pressed his lips to Hiroki's which eagerly returned the kiss. They were still completely alone at this point, so they didn't hesitate to wrap their arms around each other and melt into the kiss. Hiroki opened his eyes halfway to gaze at his husband's face, and he moaned and leaned farther into Nowaki's embrace.

"I love you too." He whispered when they broke apart.

They spent the rest of the evening walking along the beach together, hand in hand. When night fell, they stopped at a nearby fast-food restauraunt for a quick dinner, then returned to the hotel suite. Hiroki looked very tired from the day's events, and Nowaki assumed that he just wanted to curl up and go to sleep.

"Hiro-san? You going to bed?" Nowaki asked gently. Hiroki nodded in response and headed for the bathroom. He brushed his teeth, scrubbed his face, and clambered into bed.

"Did you have a good day Hiro-san?" Nowaki could'nt help but ask, as he sat on the edge of the bed, turning on the TV. It never seemed to bother Hiroki or keep him awake, and right now it looked as though he was struggling to keep his eyes open. He rolled away from Nowaki, yawning sleepily.

"It was nice, for the most part, except for those damn brats...they can go to hell for all I care..."

"Don't let them get to you anymore Hiro-san." Nowaki said. "It's over now."

"I know that." He rubbed at his neck. "Stupid fucks...throwing rocks at us. How old were they anyway, four? They make my lazy ass deadbeat students look like angels."

"I know. It's horrible."

"At least we're going home soon. I'm starting to miss home."

"Me too." Nowaki agreed, shutting off the TV and settling down next to his husband in bed. "Night, I'm gonna get some sleep too."

Hiroki sighed. "Nowaki..."

"Yes, Hiro-san?"

Hiroki fidgeted in bed a little. "I...I'm just a little cold, you know?"

Nowaki smiled, gathering his beloved into his arms once more. "You are just so adorable Hiro-san."

"Whatever," Hiroki grumbled, burying his face in Nowaki's chest. "I just hope we never run into that kind of shit again you know? I was really this close to just kicking the shit out of those little delinquents..."

Nowaki chuckled. "I can see that happening easily."

But then, Nowaki's tone lowered a little. "Hiro-san, please don't think about it anymore. What matters is that we're together, and no one is ever going to change that. Never."

"I know..." Hiroki murmured into his chest.

Nowaki never heard him say more though; he had fallen asleep. Nowaki smiled. "Oh Hiro-san. If only I could remake the world. I'd make it so no one could ever hurt you...maybe then you would'nt have to put on such a facade of invulnerability for everyone, when it's clear to me how fragile you are inside." Nowaki kissed him on the forehead.

"Sweet dreams, Hiro-san."

**Okay yeah I get it this chapter was a little cheesy. But I just felt it was needed. I really wanted to write some more hurt/comfort kind of thing for this couple. I'm sorry if Hiroki was a little OoC...sometimes that sort of thing is hard to avoid. Plz Review! Next chapter will probably be the last one.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Here it is folks, the final chapter for "For the Love of An Egoist." I've had a grand old time writing this story, and I'm really happy with all the positive feeback I've gotten. Thanks and now here is the conclusion of this arc of the Egoist story.**

**Enjoy, and thanks for reading!**

At the end of the week, when Nowaki and Hiroki had returned home, it felt strange getting back into their old routines again. Their usual easy-going laid-back days in Maine were suddenly frantic and chaotic with activity once more. Hiroki got back into his teaching schedule, got back into putting up with the same old bullshit from Miyagi, and Nowaki continued his work at the Hospital once more, caring for younger children as if they were his own.

It's true, their schedules were hectic again, but it didn't affect their relationship, which had become infinitely stronger since their short stay in Maine. Hiroki was still his same blustery loud-mouthed self, but all the same, he assured that each night he would see Nowaki, either at home or at the hospital, at which he'd become a frequent visitor. (The only downside to this was that it meant he'd occasionally have to deal with Tsumori, Nowaki's senpai, and considering that once Hiroki had clobbered him on the head with an overnight bag, they obviously weren't too keen on each other.) But regardless, their marriage bound them, and they made sure they acknowledged that strengthened bond. They went out to eat together more, and Hiroki would even allow Nowaki and him to take "The longest route back home," at night from the restauraunt where they ate. Nowaki could'nt have been happier with his marriage, nor could Hiroki, even though he would never admit it in so many words.

For awhile, everything seemed to be going smoothly. Perfectly even. Things were good for both of them, and they were both satisfied. Elated, really. They were together, and as far as they were concerned, that was all that mattered, and nothing would ever come between them again. It was like Nowaki had said; _"What matters is that we are together, and no one is ever going to change that. Never."_

But they weren't expecting what happened next

It happened on a day Hiroki had off from work, and he was busying himself cleaning up the house. He was finishing sweeping the kitchen floor, when he heard the door bell ring. Huffing, he grumbled a half-heart, "Coming," and went to go answer it. _Probably just my neighbor again asking if I've seen her stupid lost dog. Nowaki isn't due to come home for lunch for another hour._

"All right look lady," Hiroki declared as he opened the door. "I haven't seen your damn do-" He broke off the minute he looked into the familiar eyes of his visitor.

His father.

"Hello Hiroki. It's been awhile."

Hiroki just stood, totally dumbfounded at the sight of the person who now stood before him. It had been almost twenty years since he'd last seen this man, but regardless, he recognized him. The same stout build, the same beer belly, protruding slightly frok under his stained white T-shirt, the same ragged beard. The same cold, unfeeling, indifferent gray eyes; total opposite to the gentle, kind, understanding ones of his husband.

"Wh-what the hell are you doing here?" Hiroki demanded quietly, trying to back away from the door but not making it look too obvious he was afraid. "How the hell did you find this place?"

"Asked your mother. She didn't want to, but eventually she fessed up. I wanted to talk to you."

"About what?" Hiroki shot at him, fists clenching. "I think you made it perfectly clear when I spoke to you that you wanted nothing to do with me. Maybe we should keep it that way."

But the aging man shook his head. "No, Hiroki look. I'm sorry about what I said on the phone. I was drunk off my ass and..."

"Yeah, as usual. If you think showing up at my door and making excuses is going to make me forgive what you said to me, then you can just-"

"Hiroki, can I just come in?"

"_No! You can't!_" Hiroki shouted. His father actually flinched at this. _Huh, I actually made him cringe for once. I like it._ "Now you listen up; I don't want you in my life. I never did, and I still don't, and-"

"Hiroki please. I know. Just hear me out before you say anything more." His father pleaded, interrupting him once again. Hiroki actually wanted to punch him, but some odd force inside him held his fist back. He let himself wonder for a moment if this was actually a pinnacle moment where his father would break down, confess he wanted to give up drinking and get help for his alcoholism and so forth. Maybe it was too late for him to be a father to Hiroki, but maybe if anything he could get his father to sober up and possibly even come to accepting his marriage to Nowaki. It was strange why this was so important to Hiroki, but the true reason mostly stemmed from what he had told Nowaki; that he'd wanted the entire Kamijou family to warm up to him and accept him as their own. Maybe, at the very least, he could get his father to accept his husband and their marriage. And maybe, this was the opportune moment to recieve this acceptance; when his father seemed willing to try anything just to get a foot in the door.

"All right then. Come in." He said quietly, conceding at last. His father nodded once and stepped inside the threshold._  
_

"Huh, nice place you've got here. I'm impressed." His father commented as he sat down, (in Nowaki's special recliner, much to Hiroki's annoyance. He hadn't even hesitated to sit wherever he wanted.) "Looks like you've been doing very well for yourself."

_Yeah, no thanks to you. _"Yeah, I have been." Hiroki responded. "Want some tea?" He asked, tfinding it was getting increasingly harder to look his father in the eyes and tell himself this was the right thing to do.

"Ah, that'd be nice thanks, but I think I'm just going to get right to the point of why I came down here." Hiroki's father said, sinking back into the chair with a small sigh of either contentment or resignation. Hiroki poured the water for the tea into the kettle left it to boil as he put the teabag inside.

He heard his father take a deep breath behind him. "Listen Hiroki. I'm not going to pretend that you even remotely like me as a person, or as a father. I take full responsibility for that, but can you at least tell me what possessed you to inform me of your marriage just days before it occured? That's big news to hear for someone's father, that his son is being married."

_Oh man, I should have known this topic would come up. Stupid me. _"I-I know...I guess I'm sorry I told you so late...I was debating with myself whether I should tell you at all..."

"Now, Hiroki. Isn't that going to bit far. I am your father after all."

Hiroki swallowed hard, biting his lip.

"Anyway, let me continue, if you don't mind. I understand why it was so hard to tell me. It would be hard for anyone to confess something so..._shameful..._to their own father, especially if he's had a history as a deadbeat and a drunkard..."

Hiroki clenched his fist suddenly, his mind centering on the word his father had used. _Shameful._ But he still said nothing, though his fury was steadily rising.

"Regardless, I have come to understand. You have gone your entire life without a proper father figure, and I must take the blame for that, as well as for the way you have turned out Hiroki. I must confess I thought you had more reasonable judgment as a child, and would have retained that judgment into adulthood, but I can see now I was wrong. I take full responsibility for it..."

_What the hell is this damned moron talking about?_

"Hiroki, this is what I'm trying to say." He turned to his son. "I am sorry. I have been a terrible father, a terrible person, and my actions have had a horrific impact on you. The trauma of not having a dad growing up obviously led you into this devious, ungodly lifestyle...but I am willing to, with your cooperation, undo what has been done wrong here..." With this, he walked over to his speechless, dumbfounded son, and took him by the shoulder.

"I am going to fix you, my son. Together, we are going to cure you of this sinful, wasteful lifestyle and put you back on the path of righteousness and holiness. Hiroki, I know you have been scared, confused...alone...but I am here for you now..."

_No frickin way...he can't be...he can't be for real..._

"The first step we are going to take, together; the first step to your to your healing, is going to be filing for a divorce-"

**SLAP.**

His father stumbled backwards, eyes the size of dinner plates. He almost tripped over the living room coffee table and back into the couch. A furious, enraged Hiroki Kamijou towered over him, but he was trembling. Not with fear, or sorrow, or confusion...but with pure bitter malice. It coursed through his veins and accented the lines of his face in a stoic, terrifying way.

"You...have got...some damned nerve...coming back here after all this time, and saying those fuckin retarded, hurtful things to your own _SON!_" Hiroki thundered, wanted to kneel down and pummel his father into dust. His father tried to straighten up, look dignified once again. He was infuriating. He actually looked _sympathetic._ Not for his own words, but for his _son._

"Son, just listen to me-"

"No, you listen to me." Hiroki said through clenched teeth, so angry he could'nt even see straight. "You have no goddamned idea what the fuck you're talking about. You're just as stupid, deluded, and morally twisted as you were when I was a kid. If you even have the notion I would EVER file for a divorce from my husband for you or ANYONE you're sick in the head. I don't need _healing_, and I sure as hell don't need _you._ I have never been happier in m entire life than I am with Nowaki, and if you'd even take the chance to _meet him _you might finally understand-"

"Hiroki, please. I am your father-"

"NO! YOU AREN'T!" Hiroki screeched, tears beading his eyes. "YOU'RE JUST A ROTTEN FUCKED UP BASTARD WHO NEEDS TO PISS OFF AND SHOVE YOUR "HOLINESS AND RIGHTEOUSNESS CRAP" BACK UP YOUR ASS WHERE IT BELONGS! DON'T EVEN BEGIN TO TELL ME YOUR SUDDENLY A RELIGEOUS BASTARD NOW? "A GOOD CHRISTIAN" AND ALL THAT SHIT? LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING ASSHOLE, "GOOD CHRISTIANS" DON'T BEAT THEIR KIDS, OR PATRONIZE THEIR YOUTH, OR COME BACK AFTER ALL THESE DAMN YEARS AND PRETEND_ I'M_ THE ONE WHO HAS THE PROBLEM!"

Hiroki paused to catch his breath, and now his father actually looked hurt. _Good. I want you to be hurt...for all of the hurt you've caused me...an eye for an eye._

"Hiroki-"

"Get out of my house." Hiroki seethed, trying to hold himself back. "And don't you _dare_ show you're pathetic face around here _ever_ again."

The flabbergasted man just stared back dumbly at his son, not sure what else to say, or if there was anything he could say. He honestly didn't know what he did wrong, but he also saw he had no other option now than to show himself out.

And he did just that, without another word.

Hiroki just stood there, feeling his anger flare in his face and in his arms and in his chest. It was like a deadly flame was writhing under his flesh, searing his skin. He was so angry he was tired. Exhausted. So pissed off all he wanted to do was cry.

_That pathetic deluded asshole...divorce Nowaki...over my dead body._

The kettle had long since boiled over. Hiroki cleaned up the spilt water, at the risk of burning his hands, and curled up on a couch in the living room, closing his eyes and letting his father's words ring in his ears. The sad part was, he really hadn't even realized what he was saying. He was on a completely different universe. He could never relate to Hiroki's marriage as a love-filled, passion fueled union. Maybe partly because he had never even had it for himself. It was so far beyond him that his son was actually in his right mind, and married to a man at the same time. Hiroki knew that mindset would never change now. It didn't matter how much his father got to know Nowaki; he was a biased, bigotted asshole, sober or not, and there was so way he could deal with someone like that.

Somehow though, this meeting had almost helped him purge him of somethings...frustration, anger, pain. It felt good to stand before his helpless, hateful father and put him in his place. It gave him a satisfaction he had not found on while doing it on the phone.

_Maybe this was for the best. _Hiroki thought tiredly, though tears still framed his eyes. _God, I hope Nowaki comes home soon...for lunch...I really need to see him right now..."_

It was late when Hiroki finally stirred; someone was shaking his shoulder, and urging in a quiet voice for him to wake up.

"Hiro-san? Come on. It's late. Wake up."

Hiroki's eyes fluttered open. Nowaki stood over him, looking worried.

"N-Nowaki...you're back." Hiroki's eyes darted to a clock, and he straightened up. "Wh-why is it so late?" He demanded. "Did you come home for lunch or what?"

Nowaki stared at the floor, appearing ashamed. "I'm sorry Hiro-san. I had to go to lunch with a few other pediatricians at the hospital, then I had to work the evening shift. I left a message on your cell, but I guess you didn't get it."

Hiroki sighed. "No, sorry. I had a little..."company" today."

Nowaki looked confused. "Really? I didn't know you were expecting anyone. Who was it?"

Hiroki's eyes narrowed. He almost didn't want to say it. "My father."

Nowaki gasped. "No..."

"Yes."

"W-why didn't you tell me he was coming?" Nowaki asked.

"Because I didn't know it either. He just showed up at the door." Hiroki replied flatly, staring straight ahead.

Nowaki studied his husband's features. He looked worn out, and creases beneath his furrowed brows. He looked a wreck. Nowaki rested a hand on his cheek, as he considered all the things that might have possibly occured between them. "Hiro-san, tell me what happened." He asked worriedly. Hiroki sighed, leaning his cheek into his palm, but when he spoke again, he appeared to be speaking to himself more than to him.

"Tch. The nerve of that bastard." Hiroki whispered, eyes cast downward. Nowaki had to strain just to hear him. "Saying something like that to me..."

"What? What did he say?" Nowaki pressed frantically.

Hiroki took a deep breath and looked right into his eyes.

"He wanted me to divorce you Nowaki."

It was like a two ton weight had crashed onto Nowaki's chest. Nowaki inhaled sharply. Hiroki looked close to tears. He suddenly leaned forward and sank is head into his hands.

"I didn't want to say it, but there it is." Hiroki said ashamedly. "He was just so blunt Nowaki. It was astonishing. He acted as though our being together was a result of his not being a father to me or some shit like that. He was trying to be all _sensitive _about it. I swear, he acted as though I had some sort of disease that he had given me himself..."

"Hiro-san..." Nowaki murmured, capturing Hiroki in his tender embrace. Hiroki didn't even try to fight it. He buried his head in Nowaki's broad chest and inhaled that soothing scent for all it was worth.

"You know, like a fool, I really wanted to give him a chance too. But it's over now. I'm never going back to that spot again. I'm through Nowaki. I don't give a rats ass what the hell he does now, as long as he stays away from us.

"I'm not nearly as helpless as I was when I was a child. He isn't going to step over me and crush me anymore. If he ever comes near me again I might just have to kill him..."

"Okay Hiro-san...it's okay now."

Hiroki sighed once more. "I know. Listen, I don't feel like staying here anymore. What time is it now?" He glanced at the clock. "Oh, it's 5:00 now. Do you want to go get some dinner?" He asked.

Nowaki was stunned; it normally wasn't like Hiro-san to ask something like that so outright. He was usually the one who asked. But, of course, he didn't say anything about that. "O-okay." Nowaki agreed, smiling. Hiroki nodded and got up to go get ready.

After their brief meal at the usual restauraunt, Hiroki asked if they wanted to take a detour. Nowaki again, was throroughly confused, but consented easily. He and Hiroki wandered around for a bit until they were out of town looking over a river. Their was a stone ledge that overlooked the river as it flowed away from town, and the couple stood next to it overlooking the outflowing water. It was dirty and clouded, mostly with silt and garbage. Manmade rivers almost always were polluted, but regardless, the sound of the water was calming. They just stood there, watching the sun dip beneath the horizon across the river. It was nowhere near as beautiful as the sunset view at the lighthouse, but at the time, it was good enough. It was just enough that they were together.

Nowaki wanted to say something; this really wasn't like Hiro-san at all to offer this kind of detour of his own volition. Most of the time he had to be half-dragged by Nowaki just to take the back way from the restauraunt, since Nowaki had a bad habit of smooching him in public there. He once again studied Hiroki's face, particularly his eyes. All through the meal he hadn't talked much, and now he just stood staring dejectedly at the horizon. He looked exhausted; defeated. Nowaki thought back to Hiroki's profound words at the lighthouse; about how the world was filled with evil and he was the only truly good human being he had ever met...Nowaki began to wonder how true that was, but even moreso about the fact that this day...this encounter with his father was the definite confirmation of his father's contemptment of their relationship. Hiroki had mentioned briefly that his father was completely sober at the time, so if was clear his feelings were coming out unaffected by alcohol. That must have been hard. It must have been hard to listen to his father talk as though he really believed that love just could'nt exist naturally between two men.

_"I've had to face this kind of shit all my life..._ "

This incident made Nowaki look at those words in a whole new light. Just how much had Hiroki suffered in the past? How much more pain was he capable of handling?

_He just don't deserve this..._

Nowaki just could'nt help himself then. He leaned forward and kissed Hiroki gently on the cheek. It was all the comfort he could offer him.

Then, when he was expecting a blow to the skull, he felt a familiar weight on his shoulder, and a voice practically aching with need.

"Nowaki..."

The two of them stood close. It was enough that they had each other. It was enough that they had someone whom could ease the pain that life brought. It was enough that Hiroki had stood up for his marriage, his husband, and himself.

"I love you Hiro-san." Nowaki said quietly, taking his hand. "No matter what happens, that won't ever change. I love you."

Hiroki bit his lip, nodding silently. The sun was beginning to sink out of sight. He laced his fingers with Nowaki's.

"I know...

"...and that's all that matters."

Then the two of them, hand in hand, even in public, walked home. They both felt resilient, defiant. Resolute. In a world which offers no safety, promises, or happy endings, it was enough to be able to hold one another. Through even the harshest storms, the darkest nights, and the most heartbreaking of trials they could imagine, it didn't matter, as long as they were together...

...they would see them all through to the end.

**The End**

**Wow, it's finally done. What to write next? Man it's gonna be hard to do one shots after this fic. Oh well, hope you enjoyed everyone. Sorry if the end was sappy. I really suck at endings. (Mostly because Egoist is forever ^_^ )**

**Please review!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hi Everyone! I'm BAAAAAACCKK! xD**

**And for those of you who still care, I've decided to write a little bonus chapter for this story since it's been a long time since it ended. Think of it as my thanks for all the postive feedback I've gotten for this story. Enjoy! **

**P.S. This whole thing takes place about a year into their marriage. ^-^**

**...**

Hiroki sighed heavily as he shut the door behind him, dropping his bag on the floor.

"Ugh...I'm exhausted..." Hiroki groaned, rubbing at the sore achy muscles near his shoulders. "...and I think I pulled a muscle today while discipling those little tramps we call "the future of Japan."

Hiroki's referring to his "discipling" of his students obviously meant him throwing heavy textbooks at them; while being an effective method for gaining their attention it was a pretty tiring action for the aging literature professor. He glanced around the room suddenly, wondering where his husband was.

"Where is that bastard? He said he'd be home by the time I got back tonight." Hiroki muttered to himself, crossing his arms and shivering slightly. The weather was getting much colder now, as winter quickly approached.

_I guess I'll have to get that heater installed after all...its so damned cold in this house now..._

Hiroki sighed, glancing at his watch. Where the hell was Nowaki anyway? Hiroki tried to open a book and read to pass the time, but it wasn't long before he found his eyelids drooping without his control as a sense of drowsiness overtook him. His days at work were long, tiring, and mundane...and it took a much greater toll on Hiroki nowadays than it used to.

_Maybe I'm just getting too old for this shit..._ He thought wearily as he dozed off.

It was at least an hour later when Hiroki finally opened his eyes, having been awakened by a warm pair of hands on either side of his face. He looked straight into the gentle eyes of his husband Nowaki, who'd finally gotten home, late once again.

"Hiro-san, you were asleep huh?" He said, laughing softly and tussling his husband's hair. "You're just so cute."

"Shut up," He growled under his breath, pushing Nowaki's teasing hand away, but not too forcefully. "Work was exhausting today."

Nowaki nodded. "I understand Hiro-san. I guess you haven't eaten, since it's my turn to make dinner tonight? I think I'll go start it now..." Nowaki smiled once more at his husband and began to walk away.

"Hey wait a second!" Hiroki called, grabbing for Nowaki's arm, but then stiffening noticably in pain, which Nowaki noticed immediately.

"Hiro-san! What's wrong?"

Hiroki groaned, rubbing at the now immensely painful aching between his shoulderblades. "Ugh...I think I pulled a muscle or something...it hurts like hell..." He grumbled.

"Oh...Hiro-san...I'm sorry. Do you want a hot compress? Maybe a tylenol for the pain?"

Hiroki glared at him. "Playing doctor _again_ I see." I sighed. "Don't worry about it Nowaki. I'm a man you know. I can take a little-" Hiroki was interrupted by two familiar hands rubbing and massaging the afflicted muscles between his shoulders.

"Um...Nowaki?" Hiroki asked after a few awkward seconds. "What are you doing?"

"Giving you a massage Hiro-san. I learned how to do it properly as part of my training at the hospital, since a lot of the patients complain of muscle pains as side-effects of the drugs they are given."

"Oh...I...see..."

"Does it feel better Hiro-san? Am I doing it right?"

Hearing the genuine concern in his voice made Hiroki's heart skip a beat. "Uh...yeah. You're doing fine. Great actually. It feels a lot better now."

Nowaki grinned happily then. "I'm glad Hiro-san."

A brief silence stretched between them before Hiroki spoke up again, remembering what he'd been wanting to ask before. "Um...so why were you late anyway? I mean, you haven't really been doing that recently..."

"I sent you a text before telling you I was shopping downtown, but I guess you didn't get it since you were asleep."

"Oh. Yeah, I guess not. But what were you shopping for anyway?"

Nowaki hesitated before answering, with a smile in his voice. "Oh, you know. Just shopping around. Just to kill some time..."

"Humph." Hiroki pouted. "Well, you could have sent me the text earlier. I get..." Here he paused, before continuing in a smaller voice. "get worried you know?"

"Oh Hiro-san..." Nowaki sighed. He leaned over and kissed Hiroki on the cheek. "So adorable."

"Hey! Don't call me that!" Hiroki barked. Nowaki just laughed.

Nowaki prepared the two of them a steaming pot of curry and rice. The two of them ate, finished, did the dishes together, and then went into the living room to watch TV for a couple of hours before going to sleep. It didn't really matter what time they turned in, since it was a Friday night, and Hiroki had no classes to teach tommorow. Also, Nowaki was taking the day off tommorow, so it was going to be just the two of them, although Hiroki had questioned the reason why Nowaki had requested a day off, since the hospital was practically his second home, and he rarely took weekends off.

Hiroki flipped through the channels for awhile, but niether of them found any shows that caught their attention.

"God...television's useless..." Hiroki grumbled as Nowaki suddenly took his hand and gazed at him for awhile. Hiroki met his gaze with confusion. "W-what is it?"

"Don't you know what tommorow is Hiro-san?" Nowaki asked him softly.

Hiroki stiffened. He had no clue what he could have meant. Was there a holiday tommorow that he forgot about? "Um...I guess I don't."

Nowaki chuckled, then leaned forward and kissed him. "It's your birthday silly." He said with a grin.

Hiroki froze. Oh yeah, it really was tommorow wasn't it? Hiroki had totally forgotten about it. That week had been so hectic and all.

Oh wait...so _that's_ why he took off.

Hiroki's eyes narrowed suddenly, and he frowned at his husband. "Oh now I get it. You wanted to do something cheesy and romantic with me tommorow huh? To celebrate my _birthday?_" He commented in an accusatory tone. He knew his husband all too well, and Nowaki's face gave him away immediately.

"How did you guess?" He said teasingly, lacing his fingers with Hiroki's and pecking him on the cheek.

"Ugh. God...you're too much Nowaki." Hiroki groaned. "You want to do this every year with me, even though we are both men. Don't you ever feel just a little awkward about it?"

"The only person who matters to me is you Hiro-san." Nowaki said softly, making a move towards him, but then stopping abruptly, and being still.

"What is it?" Hiroki asked.

"Well, I really wanted to hold you just now but...I know that your back is hurting you. I don't want to aggrivate it Hiro-san..."

"Er... that's okay. That massage of yours really did the trick. My muscles aren't really sore anymore." He couldn't meet Nowaki's eyes as he said this, and his face was turning beet red. To be honest, his back was still a little painful, but it wasn't the foremost thing on his mind, unlike Nowaki's embrace.

"Just to be safe though, I think it's best if I don't make you strain your muscles tonight." Nowaki said. "I'd hate if you pulled them even more."

Hiroki was a little pissed now. "Look! It's FINE alright?" Hiroki insisted, looking Nowaki square in the eye. "You don't have to go all "Doctor Kusama." on me you know! If I say it's okay to hold me than that means it's okay!" Hiroki took a deep breath, ready to continue before he realized what he'd just done, and stopped dead in his tracks. "Er...well...that is..."

Nowaki's smile almost reached his ears then, as he slowly reached out for Hiroki. "Okay. I understand Hiro-san." He then engulfed his husband in his arms. Hiroki wanted to protest, to save his pride, but, as usual, he found it hard to struggle against the warmth of Nowaki's body. Gradually, he found himself moving closer to Nowaki, until the space between their bodies had almost closed.

"Hiro-san...you make me so happy." Nowaki sighed. Hiroki's ears flared.

"D-dumbass..." Hiroki mumbled.

"What do you want to do tommorow?" Nowaki asked.

"Huh?"

"For your birthday Hiro-san."

"Oh. Well, I don't know. I can't really think of anything."

Nowaki chuckled, running his hand through Hiro-san's long brown hair. "We could shop together, or go out to dinner somewhere? Maybe we could go down to the shoreline and take a walk down the beach..."

"The beach? Nowaki, it's almost winter." Hiroki pointed out, pulling away suddenly and looking him in the eyes. "God, why do you have to be such a die-hard romantic all the time?" Hiroki asked. "Why do we even need to go out for my birthday? It's really not all that important to me, to be honest."

Nowaki blinked. "You mean to say, you don't want to spend the day with me on your birthday?"

"N-no! That's not what I meant!" Hiroki stammered. "I mean...ugh..." He gave up explaining himself, and just rested his head on Nowaki's chest once more. "I mean to say that I'm no good at romantic stuff. No good for cheesy dates and lovey dovey crap. You should know that by now. I've never been that guy, and I was never that crazy about birthday celebrations either. Especially now. I'm almost in my forties..."

Nowaki smiled. "You will be thirty-three tommorow Hiro-san." He pointed out.

"Yeah...Jeez, where did all that time go?" Hiroki asked.

Nowaki chuckled, and held Hiroki closer. "Remember when we first met Hiro-san? You were only 21 then. All those years ago...

"We've been together for almost thirteen years Hiro-san."

Hiroki shifted and, face burning up, took Nowaki's hand. "Y-yeah. It's been a long time, hasn't it?"

Nowaki grinned and laced their fingers together. "And every minute of it has been wonderful."

Hiroki didn't respond beyond a tiny nod. He was too embarassed.

"Hiro-san, tommorow, let's spend the whole day together. It dosen't even matter what we do. We'll figure it out as we go. We can do whatever you want, so please Hiro-san. Will you let me take you out for your birthday?"

"...Okay." Hiroki whispered softly. Nowaki smiled, and squeezed his hand tightly, kissing him on the lips.

...

The two of them set out in the afternoon the next day, first stopping at the usual family restaurant for lunch. When they left, it was around 1:30; still pretty early. Niether of them had any good ideas of what to do next, and they were merely wandering around the section of downtown they didn't normally visit, glancing at shop displays occasionally yet never finding any good stores to stop inside.

"Where do you want to go now Hiro-san?" Nowaki chirped, taking his hand.

"I told you already. I don't know. And..." Hiroki's cheeks suddenly turned pink. "Do you have to hold my hand in public like this Nowaki? People can see us and...I think they're staring..."

Nowaki only laughed. "It dosen't matter to me what they think Hiro-san!"

Just then, the two of them stiffen as they thought they heard a faint melodious sound playing in the distance. Almost like music The two of them followed the sound down the street until they stumbled upon a carnival that had been set up in celebration of the autumn harvest. There were rides and game booths and food stands set up everywhere. Nowaki's eyes began to glitter with excitement.

"Oh Hiro-san! I almost forgot about this! The yearly Harvest Carnival is in town! Oh, look at all the roller coasters Hiro-san. And they've even set up the ferris wheel!"

"Y-yeah. I see it Nowaki." Hiroki murmured, shoving his hands in his pockets. He was glancing around and saw that a fair amount of people had already arrived. A few stray teen couples were wandering around, checking the place out, or going on the various rides.

"Oh Hiro-san! It must have just been set up today! Let's spend the day here! Don't you think it'd be fun, Hiro-san?" Nowaki stood there gazing into Hiroki's eyes pleadingly, making Hiroki's cheeks tint pink.

"O-okay you moron! Just stop that! It's embarrassing!" Hiroki urged.

"Yay!" Nowaki cheered happily, causing Hiroki to roll his eyes. _He can be such a child sometimes... _He thought, but while smiling.

At this point it was around 3:00. Nowaki practically dragged Hiroki inside. They bought their admission tickets and began to wander around the place. Hiroki had never been an avid fan of these kinds of things, but he knew Nowaki absolutely adored them. Hiroki winced as he realized that Nowaki had once again taken his hand. It wasn't that he felt ashamed of it, but Hiroki had also been concious of other people's opinions of him. (And sometimes very defensive about it.) Of course, he was proud to call Nowaki his husband. It was just that sort of self-conciousness had always been a part of him, and he knew that homosexuality would never be fully embraced in Japan.

However, this time, he didn't comment on it, and simply continued to walk beside Nowaki, who was clutching his hand even tighter as he pulled Hiroki towards a long line leading up to one of the roller coasters.

"Oh! This one looks fun Hiro-san! Let's go on it!" Nowaki exclaimed. Hiroki shrugged, his lips flushing red. "S-sure. Whatever."

At this, Nowaki made a face. "Hiro-san, don't you want to? If you don't want to...we could do something else..."

"No. It's fine really!" Hiroki reassured him. A young teen couple that stood in front of them on line was eyeing them suspiciously, but soon lost interest and turned around again. Hiroki could have sworn one of them had been staring at the ring on his hand; the symbol of his and Nowaki's wedlock. But he didn't have the chance to give them his signature death glare because at that moment, a cheerful, familiar voice rang behind them.

"Why, I can't believe my eyes! Is that you Kamijou?"

Hiroki spun around. "Miyagi?" He exclaimed in shock.

Before he could stop him, Hiroki found himself practically tackled by the very elated professor. "Oh Kamijou! It must be fate! I never thought I'd run into you in a place like this!" Miyagi said, rather loudly. Hiroki's eye twitched as he realized that the couple that had previously been staring at him were now whispering quite audiably while pointing in his direction.

"Get. The. Fuck. Off. Me." Hiroki growled menacingly, causing Miyagi to let out a mocking laugh.

"Kamijou, you are such a prude! I'm just trying to have a little fu-" Miyagi suddenly stopped dead mid-sentence. Hiroki followed his eyes upwards to see Nowaki glaring down on him, looking quite initimating.

"Excuse me. But what do you think you are doing to my husband?" Nowaki's voice as he said this was downright scary. Miyagi stiffened in fright against Hiroki, while Hiroki sighed. Nowaki had never been Miyagi's..._biggest_ fan.

Miyagi let go of Hiroki and held up his palms, quickly remembering who Nowaki was. "Hey, relax kid! I was only giving Kamijou my usual greeting! Wasn't I...Kamijou?"

"In his twisted little world, yes, that is his idea of a friendly greeting. And yes, it is very disturbing." Hiroki commented to Nowaki in a deadpan voice. Nowaki's body noticably relaxed, but he never took his eyes off Miyagi.

"I see." He said coldly.

"Uh Miyagi, why are you here anyway?" Kamijou asked, trying to move the conversation along. "I thought you had some papers to grade today."

Miyagi sighed heavily. "Well, I _did._" But then Shinobu-chin..."

"_Miyagi!"_

"...And speak of the devil...well, the _other _devil anyway." Miyagi laughed at his own joke, turning around to greet his boyfriend, who had been running towards them holding two sodas.

"Hey Shinobu! What took you so long?" He asked. Shinobu panted and handed him his drink.

"Well, the line was really long and-" He suddenly noticed who was standing beside Miyagi, and he stiffened slightly.

"Um, Miyagi, I just remembered. I wanted to go on the carousel. C'mon." He grabbed Miyagi's arm and began to pull him away."

"Hey! But wait! You said you wanted to go on this roller coaster!" Miyagi protested, until he and Shinobu's figure were lost in the immense crowd of people, leaving Nowaki and Hiroki standing alone.

"Well..._that_ was annoying." Hiroki said flatly.

Nowaki glanced at him, confusedly. "Hiro-san, that boy...he looked alarmed to see you. Why is that?"

"Ugh, it's probably because I walked in on him and Miyagi accidentally once. I don't blame him really, but why does Miyagi always have to embarrass me like that? God...he is such a pain in the ass..."

"I wish he wouldn't touch you like that." Nowaki said, stepping closer to Hiroki. "It pisses me off."

"What?" Hiroki asked, but suddenly, Nowaki turned around and gasped. "Oh Hiro-san look! We're next up for the roller coaster! And it's stopping! Come on! Let's go!" And Hiroki found himself once more being pulled along by his now cheerful husband toward the carts. _He sure changes moods quickly dosen't he?_ Hiroki pondered. Yet, at the same time, it was kind of thrilling to know that Nowaki could get so protective over him like that...like the first time he confronted Miyagi. He'd almost punched his lights out that night.

_'It's crude behavior, and a little childish that he's still gets so jealous over someone as trivial as Miyagi, but in a way, it's kinda nice._

_I'll never tell him that though.'_

After the roller coaster, Nowaki was even more excited to venture all around the carnival with Hiroki. (Even though the roller coaster had almost caused Hiroki to lose his lunch. He'd never had the strongest stomach.) He followed Nowaki around all over the carnival. Over the course of the following hours, Hiroki was aggitated by some clowns, given a free balloon animal, (which was supposedly a giraffe,) coerced into playing skee-ball and whac-a-mole with Nowaki. (Who thought the cheap plastic moles were 'adorable'.) Hiroki merely rolled his eyes and went along with it. Even though the foremost part of his mind kept reminding him of how childish it all was, he wasn't about to say no and upset Nowaki. He really had no better ideas of anything he wanted to do. _And he just seems so happy to be here with me... _Hiroki thought.

The more they wandered and the more carnival attractions they tried, such as the goldfish scooping or the target practice booths, people continued to stare and whisper occasionally, but Nowaki was oblivious to it all, as he hummed merrily while clinging to Hiroki's arm and pointing at all the things he wanted to see with him. Eventually, Hiroki began to block it out as well. Despite everything, he eventually found himself having fun too. A couple of the games he was urged to try by Nowaki actually were kind of fun. (Especially the target practice one, where he could use his imagination and picture Miyagi's head on the target as he fired away.)

It really wasn't all that bad for him, and the hours passed quickly, until it was 6:00 PM, and the sky was beginning to darken overhead. Also, the lights of the carnival were starting to come on, and everywhere they looked was bright and dazzling against the evening sky.

"Oh, Hiro-san...isn't it beautiful?" He gushed, holding his hand tightly.

"Y-yeah, it is." Hiroki mumbled, fidgetting as his stomach let out a low groan.

"Oh Hiro-san, can you see the ferris wheel from here? Let's go on that later together! Please say you will?"

Hiroki's stomach groaned again. "D-dumbass, you really have to be that cheesy don't you." Hiroki mumbled, cheeks flushing deep red as he looked away.

"Oh, Hiro-san, was that your stomach I heard just now?"

"S-shut up!" Hiroki barked. " I think I'm getting a little hungry. That's all."

At this, Nowaki's face suddenly brightened. "Oh! Okay! Let's eat!"

Hiroki couldn't even protest before he found himself being dragged by an ecstatic Nowaki once again.

The two of them approached a little snack bar that happened to serve pizza and fries and other common assorted carnival foods.

"Ugh...hope you don't mind American Nowaki, cause it looks like that's all this place serves..." Hiroki grumbled.

Nowaki laughed. "I don't mind. It's really not all that bad Hiro-san. Remember I did live in America for a year. I ate this kind of stuff all the time."

"I don't envy you one bit." Hiroki scoffed.

"Oi Kamijou! Is that you?"

_Oh Jesus no don't tell me... _Hiroki thought pleadingly.

Then, sure enough, Hiroki found himself being glomped from behind, causing Nowaki to turn around in alarm.

"Ah! Fate has brought us together again Kamijou! My sweet honey!" Miyagi exclaimed dreamily, nudging Hiroki's back.

"You just never learn do you." Hiroki hissed, pushing the professor off of him.

"Oh, just one hug wouldn't kill you Kamijou-" It was then Miyagi caught sight of Nowaki's near murderous glare.

"Oh uh...hey Kusama...didn't see you there..." Miyagi stammered, quickly letting go of Hiroki. "So, uh Kamijou, how long are you planning to stay here anyway?"

Hiroki scratched his head and shrugged carelessly. "Dunno really. I think Nowaki has a few more ideas of where we could go after this, right?"

At this Nowaki brightened. "Yes! We're going to go on the ferris wheel, right Hiro-san?"

"Ugh, are you still on that? Yeah, but I meant besides that..."

"Um, well, I don't know Hiro-san." Then, Nowaki inched closer and smiled suggestively. "We could take a walk along the shoreline under the harvest moon."

Hiroki's face turned beet red. "M-moron! How cheesy can you get?"

Nowaki giggled. "Oh, Hiro-san, it looks like we're next to order. Tell me what you want and I'll get it for you." Nowaki looked tentatively at Miyagi, and then glanced at Hiroki again.

"Um, shit. I don't know Nowaki. I guess a slice of pizza. It'll probably all be crap anyway, so I guess it dosen't matter." Hiroki said.

"Okay. I think I'll have a slice too." Hiroki caught him aim one more guarded look towards Miyagi as he leaned forward to peck Hiroki on the cheek. "I'll be right back. You can go pick out a table if you want." Then Nowaki hurried towards the counter to order.

Miyagi chuckled, as Hiroki embarassedly rubbed his cheek. "He is so adamant about doing that in public that it's ridiculous." He murmured, while not sounding completely dissatisfied about it.

"That kid sure loves you Hiroki." Miyagi said, shaking his head. "He's about as protective of you as Shinobu is, and let me tell you, that kid's a terrorist when it comes to me."

Hiroki rolled his eyes. "Where is he anyway?"

"Oh, he's waiting for me to order for us, but the line's a little long so I'll wait for it to shorten a bit. I hope I can find him, this place is getting crowded."

"You're right. Oh wait, I think I see him, he's right there." Hiroki said, pointing straight ahead at a table towards the center of the bar.

"Oh yeah. So, you want to join us? Or maybe that's not such a good idea...since I _do_ want to survive this meal." Miyagi joked.

"I think Nowaki intends to eat with me alone. He's...um...the reason we're here is... he's taking me out for my birthday."

"EH? IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY TODAY KAMIJOU?" Miyagi exclaimed in shock. "I completely forgot about that!"

"Big surprise." Hiroki commented sarcastically.

Miyagi slapped his forehead. "Oh man, how embarassing I-"

"Hiro-san. I have the food!" Nowaki called, spotting them still chatting by the counter. Immediately, his eyebrows furrowed slightly. "Hiro-san?"

"Oh, sorry Nowaki. I'll talk to you later Professor." Hiroki said, waving over his shoulder and following Nowaki to an empty table.

"Okay, see ya." Miyagi called back, turning around to get on line, but not before catching Nowaki give him a threatening look over his shoulder. Miyagi shuddered.

"Jeez, that guy is scary." He muttered to himself.

"Hiro-san? Are you okay? You look like you're in pain."

"Ugh..." Hiroki groaned, swallowing down another bite of his pizza, looking downright miserable. "How do they eat this crap over there?" He glanced up at Nowaki. "How are you still alive Nowaki, after a year of eating this shit?"

Nowaki laughed. "Hiro-san, you've really never eaten pizza before this?" He asked, taking a bite out of his own slice. "I think it's tasty."

"Well, I don't." Hiroki shivered, pushing his plate away from him. "You can have the rest if you want Nowaki. I've lost my appetite."

Nowaki chuckled once more, shaking his head. "Hiro-san, you're so cute."

Hiroki groaned again. Nowaki smiled. He edged closer to Hiroki on the bench and put his arm around Hiroki's shoulders. Hiroki stiffened and looked up. "Nowaki?"

"Hiro-san, what were you talking about with that man?" Nowaki asked.

"Um...er...nothing really." Hiroki muttered, feeling uncomfortable talking about Miyagi. "Um, Nowaki, why are you..."

" I'm sorry. Forget it, it's not important really. Hey, did you want me to get you something else?"

Hiroki blinked and then replied. "Um, no thanks."

Nowaki nodded and then removed his arm. "Okay then. Do you want to go on the ferris wheel now?" Nowaki asked, eyes shining. Hiroki sighed. He was never going to hear the end of it was he?

"Sure. Whatever." He mumbled, getting up to throw away the plates and cups. He took one final sip of his coke and threw it away. _Is it just me, or did he seem a little worried just now?_

But Hiroki shook away the thought. _Don't be stupid. Why would he be worried?_

_I'm just imagining things._

By the time they'd left the snack bar, it was close to 7:00, and every single light in the carnival was shining against a velvet black sky. Even Hiroki had to admit that the ferris wheel looked beautiful against the night. Nowaki took his hand and whispered to him, "Oh Hiro-san, let's go!" He gushed.

Hiroki sighed as he followed Nowaki towards the ferris wheel, of course, to their dismay, they realized that the line was incredibly long and moving very slowly.

Hiroki groaned out loud. "Oh God, look at this damned line. We're gonna be here a while, you think we should call it off?"

"Hiro-san, let's just be patient. I'm sure it can't be that long."

Hiroki grumbled in agreement, and the two of them sat on a nearby bench, patiently waiting for the line to start moving. Sadly, by the time half an hour had passed, the line had only barely inched forward. It seemed like they would be waiting there forever, when suddenly Nowaki spoke up.

"Hiro-san, since the line seems to be moving slow right now, do you mind if I use the bathroom? I won't be gone long I promise."

"Oh, uh sure. Go ahead." Hiroki replied. Nowaki smiled then and pecked him on the cheek. "I'll be right back Hiro-san." Then, he raced off.

"He really should have gone when we were back at the snack bar..." Hiroki murmured, crossing his arms. A cool breeze flowed by, and Hiroki shivered.

"Ugh...it's freezing out here! Dammit, I could have used him right now-" Hiroki stopped mid-sentence. _Did I really say that out loud just now?_

Hiroki glanced around, it didn't appear that anyone had heard him. His eyelids drooped. _What the hell...am I getting tired? Probably because I didn't have a proper dinner._

_And...I am getting older, aren't I?_

Hiroki sighed, glancing at his watch. 7:50. He remembered that the exact time of his birth was 6:39 PM. _So I'm really thirty three now huh?_ Hiroki chuckled to himself. _Happy Birthday me._

Hiroki waited around a little longer, and Nowaki still hadn't came back. _Where the hell is he anyway?_

The line was a lot shorter now.

Hiroki sighed. "He should have been back by now..."

It was at that moment a voice spoke up behind Hiroki,

"Well, look what we have here."

Hiroki heard the voice, and knew it was close, but with all the commotion and chatter all around him, he couldn't place it at first. Until he spun around, half wondering if it was Miyagi or maybe Shinobu. Hiroki's entire body froze when he saw who was standing there.

_Tsumori..._

Hiroki couldn't believe his eyes. He just couldn't._ What the hell is that bastard doing here? First Miyagi, now HIM?_

"Never thought I'd run into you again. How you been Kamijou?" He said, quite smugly.

Hiroki stiffened slightly. "Fine. Just fine." He replied rigidly. He did _not_ want to initiate a conversation with this guy. Just the sight of this man was making his blood start to boil. _How the fuck does he know my last name anyway?_ Hiroki thought with rage. _Don't tell me Nowaki actually chats with this guy about me?_

"Funny, I didn't really think carnival's would be your thing." Tsumori commented. "You here alone by any chance?" He then suddenly plopped down on the bench beside him, making Hiroki even more rigid. His eyes narrowed as he gave Hiroki a self-satisfied smirk. _He knows how much he's pissing me off. _Hiroki thought. _He's __**enjoying **__this..._

"I'm here with Nowaki." Hiroki responded coldly. "He just went to the bathroom, but he's coming back so-"

But Tsumori's attention had apparently diverted to the ring on his hand. The ring Nowaki had offered him that night he'd proposed.

"Goddamn..." Tsumori suddenly muttered to himself, staring at the ring. "So he really _was_ serious."

"Excuse me?" Hiroki barked, snatching his hand away from Tsumori's gaze. "Just what the hell are you talking about?"

The smug smirk on Tsumori's face that had just seconds ago been replaced with a contemplating look returned in an instant.

"Oh dear, I guess you _still_ aren't that fond of me, are you..._Hiro-san?"_

This cut through Hiroki like the blade of a sword, and suddenly he found himself clenching his fists and just barely restraining himself from punching Tsumori square in the jaw.

"Don't you _dare_ ever use that name to address me again." He hissed

Tsumori blinked a few times, but then his previous confidence (foolishly) returned and he chuckled. "I'm only teasing you a bit. Is that so wrong? Can't you take a little humor once in a while? Gee, I wonder what Nowaki had to do to convince you to come here with him. You're as much of a tight-ass now as when the time we first met."

Hiroki was practically blind with rage at that point. "For your information Nowaki took me here for my birthday and-"

"_AWWWW_ That is just _too_ precious!" Tsumori gushed in a purposely exaggerated voice. "That Nowaki...always wasting his selfless sentiments on people that just don't appreciate it." Before Hiroki could reply to this, Tsumori looked him dead in the eye. "Let me guess, you haven't even thanked him yet for this have you?"

Hiroki's heart thudded hard. He...he actually _hadn't._

"Yeah, I thought as much." Tsumori finally sighed, shaking his head. "And to think the guy actually _married_ you. His precious _Hiro-san-"_

This is the moment where Hiroki lost it.

Without even thinking twice about it, he suddenly was on his feet. He reached down, took Tsumori by the shirt collar and pulled him up until he held his face within inches of his own. Tsumori didn't look quite so smug now that'd he'd awakened the wrath of Kamijou the Devil. His eyes were wide with horror as Hiroki gripped his collar and hissed the following words right in his face.

"I said never use that name again you _son of a bitch!___ Only _Nowaki _is allowed to call me that! You hear me? **ONLY. NOWAKI!**"

"Hiro-san?"

Hiroki instantly went from an erupting volcano to an Iceberg, as he rigidly turned to see Nowaki standing by the bench with a confused look in his eyes.

"Senpai? Hiro-san, what's going on here?"

Hiroki lost his hold on Tsumori's shirt collar and expected him to spill everything that had just passed between them to Nowaki in a heartbeat. But instead, Tsumori merely shrugged and said, "I just ran into your hubby here and thought I'd have a little chat with him is all." Tsumori cast a triumphant glance at Hiroki, which Hiroki barely managed to ignore. "It was...interesting...I'll give it that."

Hiroki clenched his fists, his face burning up with fury. _One of these days I'm going to murder him._

It was then that Nowaki suddenly looked furious, and he fixed his gaze on Tsumori. "Hiro-san looks pretty upset Senpai. What did you say to him?"

Tsumori looked taken aback by this question. "I told you, nothing! Just a few harmless jokes, a little playful banter-"

Nowaki started to approach him then. "Senpai, something tells me it's not just that."

He stood right in front of senpai now. Taking a deep breath, he took Hiro-san's hand.

"I've told you this before. You're my senpai, and I respect you for that. But I'm not going to allow to you to torment my husband. _ At all._ You show him the same respect that I show you. Are we clear?"

Tsumori swallowed hard. "Nowaki, really, it was no-"

Nowaki looked him dead in the eyes now, and he looked dead serious now. "Senpai. I mean it." He said. "Upset him one more time, and you'll have me to answer to. Understand?"

Tsumori, appearing terrified, simply nodded, murmured an insincere apology, and slinked away.

Hiroki couldn't even move.

_Did I...did I just see what I thought I saw? _

_Did Nowaki just _threaten _Tsumori?_

"N-Nowaki?" Hiroki asked tentatively.

"Come on Hiro-san." Nowaki said softly, squeezing his hand. "Let's go."

Hiroki found himself being led by the hand to the line for the ferris wheel. When they were next, the person running the ride glanced at their tickets and let them through. Nowaki chose an empty booth and let Hiroki go in first. He sat down beside him then and took his hand again. The two of them were silent as their booth began to rise towards the orb of the full moon. It was a beautiful sight, yet it was the last thing on either or their minds now.

"L-listen...Nowaki-" Hiroki began uncertainly. "It wasn't really nessesary for you to-"

"I heard what he said to you Hiro-san." Nowaki replied in a low voice. "I couldn't believe it, but I heard what he said. He said you were ungrateful. Unthankful." Nowaki looked to him sadly. "If only he knew the side of you I know, he wouldn't be so quick to say such things."

Hiroki was blushing furiously, but he looked away. "Well, yeah, but that's not what really ticked me off. It was...um..."

"I already know Hiro-san." Nowaki said with a light smile. He lifted Hiroki's hand and kissed it tenderly. "You got mad that he called you Hiro-san."

Hiroki now felt just about ready to die. "N-no! It's not like that it's-"

"I know you'd try to deny it Hiro-san. But I heard it all. I even caught a glimpse of you shouting it right in his face. The crowd of people behind you was kind of big, so I couldn't see much of what was happening, but I heard it, clear as day. " Nowaki looked into Hiroki's eyes and drew closer. "That made me really happy Hiro-san."

"W-well whatever. It's not like it was that big of a deal. So I get pissed when other people use that name for me. So what?" Hiroki then felt an increase of weight on his shoulder, and he looked to see Nowaki was leaning against him, smiling warmly.

"You may see it that way, but to me, it's something much greater. With so much more meaning..."

"Nowaki?" Hiroki said, as Nowaki took his hand in his.

"To be perfectly honest, there is a part of me that is always afraid that, one day, I might lose you to someone or something. Anything. I know it isn't rational, now that we've been together for so long...but it's the reason I get defensive about someone like Miyagi touching you, or when Senpai antagonizes you that way. I'm afraid of anything that might put any kind of distance between us...I always want to protect you, and keep you beside me, and sometimes it's difficult to conceal just how much I want that.

"To hear you say that I'm the only one that is allowed to call you Hiro-san, means that you have given only me the special privilege of having that intimate connection to you. The same connection we established thirteen years ago when I saw you crying, all alone in that park...

...And that means more to me than words can express Hiro-san."

Hiroki swallowed back the lump of emotion in his throat and blinked away tears. Nowaki had just made a major confession to him, and, as usual for him, he wasn't sure how to react.

"You...you earned it." Hiroki finally said, tears falling down his cheeks. "You've always deserved that right Nowaki...always..." He eased closer to his husband and rested his head on his chest. Nowaki wrapped him in his arms and held him close.

The two of them were quiet for a few moments as their booth stopped at the very peak of the ferris wheel. The inlaid neon of the wheel began to light with a dazzling brilliant, as it lit the booth from within, briefly revealing the married couple to the world. But they didn't care. Hiroki's heart was nestled in a state of bliss and contentment. He couldn't have asked for a better birthday, even if he did have an unpleasant encounter with Tsumori.

"Hiro-san...I love you so much." Nowaki whispered, making Hiroki's lower lip quiver.

"Nowaki..." He murmured softly.

It was at that moment that Nowaki began to pull something out of his coat pocket. It was a small black velvet box. Hiroki's eyes widened at the sight of the little black box and he looked questioningly up at Nowaki.

"Nowaki, what's this?" He asked, though he had a pretty good idea.

Nowaki smiled warmly. "Your birthday present Hiro-san. I ordered it awhile back, since I knew you wanted a new one."

"And you've been carrying it around all day? Why didn't you just give it to me back at the house?" Hiroki asked, until he finally realized something. "Wait a minute...you weren't in the bathroom at all, were you? Let me guess, you were running to the store to pick this up, weren't you?"

Nowaki merely grinned and shrugged. "Just as perceptive as always, Hiro-san."

Hiroki rolled his eyes and took the box from him. So the whole run in with Tsumori had really been _his_ fault, hadn't it? But he decided not to say it out loud.

"Whatever. I guess it's not that big a deal." He muttered, opening the black box and suddenly gasping softly.

A beautiful gold watch with diamond accents was revealed, glittering in the light from the ferris wheel. Hiroki could immediately tell how expensive it must have been. It must have taken a pretty good chunk out of Nowaki's paycheck. It was absolutely gorgeous.

Hiroki bit his lip as he remembered all those times he'd complained about his ratty old watch. Nowaki had apparently been listening. He always listened. Whenever Hiroki had a problem or even just a minor little complaint or gripe about anything, Nowaki was always listening to him, no matter how menial it might be.

_"I bet you didn't even thank him."_

Hiroki sighed. Tsumori had a point, no matter how much Hiroki wanted to take a machete to his skull. He could be a little more thankful about the things Nowaki did for him.

"Hiro-san? Do you like it?" Nowaki asked, breaking Hiroki out of his thoughts. He looked up at his lover, Nowaki's eyes were gleaming like soft blue orbs. Hiroki felt tears jump once again to his own.

He nodded. "Yes. I do. Thank you Nowaki...

"For everything."

Nowaki smile grew broader as he leaned forward to kiss his husband.

"Hiro-san, I know we're still technically in public, but is it okay if I kiss you now?"

Hiroki sighed once more. "You just never quit do you? Hiroki whispered, wrapping his arms around his waist and pulling him closer.

"Afraid not Hiro-san." Nowaki whispered back, leaning in and kissing him deeply. Hiroki closed his eyes.

_I love him so much, after all these years it still overwhelms me that I could love someone this intensely..._

"Happy Birthday Hiro-san." Nowaki said breathlessly as they came apart. As the booth lowered itself back to earth, the two of them still managed to feel weightless together, suspended in their own little world, where it was just the two of them, and their love. And as they walked home together, hand in hand, the night air blowing against Hiroki and raising goosebumps on his arms, he didn't even notice the cold.

He knew the moment they stepped inside their home, Nowaki would embrace him once more, kiss him, and melt the goosebumps and the cold away.

Just the same way he'd done to his heart.


End file.
